Letter Writing

Hey guys hope you are all well. I am doing pretty good myself but have recently got a bee in my bonnet about the work I do and the Church I am a part of. This has led me to begin writing a mammoth letter which I will be sending to the leaders of my Church both nationally and internationally. Unfortunately this probably means that the time I would use to write on this I am likely to use in working on this letter. I may post the letter on here once I am done but I am not sure. So if I don't post for a little while don't worry I have not disappeared again I am just working on something else. Hope to be back on here soon, until then guys.

If it wasn't for those darn pesky Christians

I need to blow off some steam about something that happened at work tonight. I work as a support worker with people who are homeless, rootless or at risk of becoming so. This entails working with addicts, alcoholics, people with mental health issues and those working the streets. It is an absolute passion of mine to help these people and although I have not been employed to do this for long I know what does and does not work with this client group.

So tonight while working on our soup run four people in bright fluorescent jackets rocked up to my soup run asking who we are and what we do. It turned out that these people were from a local church who had recently begun doing outreach for the homeless on a Wednesday night offering hot drinks to the homeless and street beggars. This in itself is not a bad thing, anything that helps people in these situations can only be a good thing my issue lies in the fact that these guys are the new kids on the block rocking up to an established service attempting to poach service users is not in the best interest of said service users. My biggest bug bear is that they were actively attempting to coax my clients to their service, but they are not offering them anything past a hot drink and maybe a listening ear. Normally this is not a bad thing, the charity I work for believes strongly in service user led relationships and building relationships with service users by giving them time and not pushing an agenda. However when this takes a service user out of a situation where they are accessing a support service where they receive support that is available every day of the week and try to supplant this with just a one night a week service which only provides a hot drink this is doing harm.

What I see happening is a Church who have had the right idea but they have not followed it through properly. They have not looked at service provision already provided and looked to fill a need that exists, they have just simply had an idea and gone and done it. This for me is a massive waste of volunteer time, resources and funding that could have been utilised to do much more good in a different way. If they had looked at service provision they would have seen the nights when there is no provision and been able to set up a useful service. As it is they are providing nothing new and potentially causing harm to people who could be receiving practical help and assistance.

This is not the first time I have seen this happen, a Church sets up a scheme or program to help "the needy" but quickly burns out because they are replicating services and not providing anything of use. Like I said I have no objection to what these people are doing, helping these guys is fantastic, however by not researching the situation they are not helping they are potentially causing harm which is in no ones best interest.

One thing that I found didn't sit well with me was the need of these four to talk about God constantly. Ok, you are from a Church we get that, you want to help those who have a need, we get that too but why are you trying to convert people before you help them? Why are you presenting yourself with the unwritten proviso that by being Christian you are going to receive more help? It shouldn't be about trying to convert these people, we shouldn't be telling them that we will help them but fist we will pray about it. In time it may be that these people want to know about God, want to know why we do what we do, but it should never be something we require them to do. Help should never be provided on a basis of conversion, help should be freely given. We should be acting in a Christlike way, we should be helping these people but to do so on a basis of them listening to us sermonising is in my eyes wrong. Preach by your actions by all means, but to force your religion on someone when they don't want it is not going to win any souls.

For me the most telling part of the night was a quote from one service user who said to the Church group;

"This guy is my support worker, he looks out for me and has my back and for that I have his back. When I need help he is always there, he knows me and my situation and knows how to help. He's not just about a cup of coffee he is there when I'm rattling for drink and drugs and never judges me. I don't come here for the coffee or soup, I come here because I know he will be here and I know I can come tell him my problems and tomorrow morning he will be there to help sort them out. And any way I have enough problems as it is without you guys giving me more"

I know some people out there will disagree with me, but I am a Christian, I have a calling and a passion to help the homeless and the social outcasts, yes I want to win souls for Christ, yes I would love them to attend a Church but I am never going to force my religion on someone as recourse for providing help and I don't believe anyone else should either. If Churches are to do this sort of work they need to think about who it is they are really helping, are they doing this to ease their conscience or are they trying to help those who need it.  If they are really there to help those who need it are they really providing the right kind of help or could the money be better used by professionals out there day after day providing the help these people need and really making a difference.

I'm a Christian, But......

Before I start this post I want to put out this disclaimer. I do not claim now and have never claimed to be a shining light of Christian purity. I would willingly admit that I often get things wrong and that I have made many mistakes past, present and likely in the future too. I also know that I myself am far from sinless despite my best efforts to be what I should be as a Christian.

Ok now I have said that I feel an awful lot happier about the rant I am about to go on. The thing I want to talk about is Christians who push themselves into positions of influence and set themselves up as supposed good examples who knowingly live in unchristian ways.

I doubt it is only me who has trouble with people who seek out positions of influence and power in the Church for their own means and then go on to act in thoroughly unchristian ways. I can't help but think that a at least part of the problems we have in the Church are in some way connected to the bad examples of leaders who are not there for God. In this I mean the people who need to be in these positions of power and influence for their own gratification and own purposes. These people who then go on to continue to act in worldly ways with inappropriate behaviour, gossiping and spreading rumours. This poison then permeates its way through Churches, in fact The Church infecting people further setting poor examples to those young or weak in the faith who perhaps then see this as acceptable behaviour.

As I said in the disclaimer, I do not believe myself to be an example of what a Christian should be, far from it. To be honest I would be willing to admit I fall far short of where I should be as a Christian many times. But without then trying to make myself sound any better, I do not claim to be a perfect example, I do not pretend to be anything but a sinful man daily asking the Lord for forgiveness. I pray that Christians would see the sin in their own lives, the gossiping, rumour spreading and general sinful behaviour and acknowledge it. By acknowledging it they can not only confront it and attempt to drive it from their lives but also show others that while sin is not ok or acceptable it is going to happen. Show that by having a relationship with Jesus and asking for forgiveness we can grow as Christians and in faith.

These people know that what they are doing is wrong, unchristian and hurtful, they know they are causing pain to those they wrong and who they gossip about. Rumours based on idle speculation, conjuncture and wild fantasy that they spread cause a level of hurt that is known only to the individual and the Father. When friends turn on friends and say things that are hurtful or cause situations where the truth is either veiled or hidden purposely for their own gain. When friends manipulate circumstances to gain an advantage over friends all of these things are a source of the pain that Christ felt upon the cross.

Paul's letters to the early Church talk about situations we still see today, brothers and sisters in Christ are still acting in ways that are far from Christlike and in ways we have be warned and instructed not to act. We are all going to sin, we are all going to make mistakes but I can't help but think that these people are claiming to be followers of Christ but have not accepted the Spirit, have not accepted Christ's forgiveness and are not following the two greatest commandments.

Matthew 22:36-40
When the Pharisees heard how he had bested the Sadducees, they gathered their forces for an assault. One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: "Teacher, which command in God's Law is the most important?"
Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them."

25 years and counting

So today is my birthday, not normally something I celebrate much or really bother with but I think adding an extra year on is a good time to take stock and look back on the last year. So here is a quick summary.

Work:
In this area of my life I have been quite successful, just less than a year ago I made the transition into working in social care from my previous life as a scientist. This went very well and the training post I was in taught me a lot in a short space of time. I met some fantastic people who began to equip me with the skills I need to follow my calling. Then in March I moved jobs and cities to begin working with a small charity that helps street addicts and street homeless which is something I feel very strongly about. In the 5 months I have been there I have grown in knowledge and understanding of the sector and also gained many skills that will be invaluable to me in the future.

Home:
This time last year I was living at home for the first time in 6 years and it was not ideal. However it did put me close to my family and allow me to spend time with them, especially my Godson. But with the new job came a move to a new city and while for a short time my housing situation was not good, i.e. technically homeless, I am now living with one of my best friends in a lovely apartment and beginning to9 settle in quite nicely.

Church:
Now this area of my life has been quite rocky. I made a commitment to God and my Church over a year ago but due to various reasons this has still to progress further than just talking about it. Because I moved cities and have had to move Churches the process of me applying to become a minister has taken about 20 steps back. However as of this week I am now officially a member of my new congregation and looking forward to things moving forward again. I miss the Church I grew up in but feel that moving to a new city and a new Church with everything tht is going on will in the long run be the best for my spiritual growth.

Spiritual life:
Now probably the most important aspect of my life. Sadly I have not taken care of this aspect of my life quite as well as I have of the others. With everything that has gone on of late setting aside time to be with God has not been easy and at times I am sad to admit not been a priority. This has had an adverse affect on some areas of my life and I have really struggled at times. There have been some dark days which would have been so much brighter if I had not been neglecting my spiritual life. I am now making an effort to change this, I have seen it as a problem and have begun to make it more of a priority.

Blog:
As many of you are likely to know I took quite a long unplanned hiatus in blogging. I did the thing I hate other people doing and just disappeared from the blogosphere with no warning. There are reasons for this, mostly to do with the stresses of moving city and starting a new job but with some extra unneeded stresses from people who were supposed to be there to help me. I am now back on track even if I am not posting with the same regularity and quantity of the past. I am still trying to work out what I want this to be going forward but after my break I have rediscovered my passion for sharing whatever is on my mind with you guys, hope someone is finding it interesting in some way.

So that is a rough summary of most of my life in the last year, there have been a few other things going on but that about covers most of it. I am now off to enjoy my birthday by relaxing and taking it easy, after 25 years of trying I might finally get the quiet and relaxing birthday I have always desired.

Church Billboards

I went to one of my work colleges house warming party tonight and on the car journey home I saw a really good Church Billboard.

Jesus is the bread of life

Uses self-raising power

When I saw this it took a few seconds for it to sink in, a few seconds to realise the full meaning of this phrase. We see the analogy of the bread of life used time and time again, it was refreshing to see this clever play on words to make you think about it a little bit more.

For the rest of the journey the phrase ran round in my head and I thought about how true it is. As with baking bread if we want to make our lives with God the right way, if we are to follow the recipe we need to use some kind of raising agent, and the only raising agent for true everlasting life is Jesus. 

Jesus can make our lives grow and expand and become so much more than they could be with out him much in the same way that bread dough rises with the addition of yeast. The power of the risen Saviour can do amazing things, bring about wondrous changes when applied to your life. 

What is your life like?

Is it a spiritual flat bread or do you have the rising power of Christ in your life?

No Surrender, We Will Not Retreat

How many people are prepared to give up everything for Jesus, how many people are prepared to turn their back on everything they have known, a safe life, a solid career in order to follow the will of God? I know many Christians who would say that they would, many Christians who would claim that they put Jesus first in all things.

How many actually do though?

We see many people who claim to Christians, who claim to be strong of faith who will just go through the motions, who will turn up week in week out "doing their bit" and "chipping in". When asked about their calling they will either ramble off the subject or say something along the lines of "I don't know what God is calling me to do yet".

I understand that God works differently with different people, and some people are desperately searching for God's plan in their lives. But I would say the problem for those genuinely searching and those just showing a Christian face on Sundays is roughly the same. They have not given control of their lives over to the Lord, they have not offered to do His will come what may.

The people who say they are praying for direction and to know God's plan for them are either not praying ernestly or are holding back. When you ask God how he wants to use you, when you offer your life to God with no provisions or caveats then and only then will you begin to see His plan mapped out in your life.

In the Church we do not need more people who are just along for the ride, we do not need more people who are wanting to remain in the world. What we do need are people who are willing to give up everything, people who are willing to say "No surrender, we will not retreat". We need people who are on fire for God, burning with a passion that only the Holy Spirit can bring.

Following on in a similar vein to yesterday I would rather see a smaller Church of people who are really on fire for God. A Church cut back and pruned to those who are healthy in the Lord. I believe that when we get a Church like this, a Church following His will, a Church willing to sacrifice all it has, that is when we see Church growth, that is when we see revivals and that is when God can do his best work through his Churches.

How many people can say they are willing to give their all to god? How many Christians are willing to do anything He requires?

I don't know the answer to this but I pray that the Lord will find more people open to His will and that we follow His ways to bring his Churches back to life so that He does not decide to prune us and remove us from the Church vine.

Cutting back

Pruning - To trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, esp. to increase fruitfulness and growth.

After a conversation with my flat mate and having being forced to watch a TV program about attempting to revive a dying village in Wales I have been thinking about dying Churches. These thoughts have been running round in my head for a number of days in a different form. This has brought me round to thinking about how we deal with small, shrinking and dying Churches.

In the UK we have a problem with shrinking congregations, reduced Church attendance and Churches withering and dying. In towns and villages up and down the country groups of Christians are fighting a losing battle to keep their Churches alive. My question is, are they wasting their time and is there a different way to tackle this problem.

John 15:1-2

 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

Now for me it seems obvious that when something dies and has no life left in it something needs to be done. As in plants or indeed bodies if a portion of it dies then it should be cut off. If this is not done the dead or dying portion sucks up valuable resources and deprives the healthy areas of the things they need to survive. It can also be the case that these dead and dying portions become rotten or infected and because they have not been cut off they infect other areas.

As in gardening and medicine the Church should also be aware of areas of itself that have died or are dying. It is not that Churches can not be saved, unfortunately some can not, but once they are past a point is it wise to pour resources down a black hole when they could be spent expanding work elsewhere. As Jesus said, if a branch is not bearing fruit then it will but cut off, Jesus even tells us that these branches will be left to wither a dry up and then be cast on to the fire, they are no good for God if they are not doing his will. Even those Churches who are strong will be pruned back from time to time in order to bring them renewed strength.

The point I want to make is not that shrinking Churches are a bad thing, sometimes good can come from this and a Church that is pruned back to healthy stock can flourish again. However a dead a rotten Church is doing no one any good and could in fact be doing harm. I can't be the only one who thinks that the hard decision should be made to shut down dying Churches and use the money in different ways to extend God's kingdom. It is not even necessary to remove the money from the community it is in but perhaps use it in a more constructive way in a community than shoring up a failing Church.

When I think of Jesus and his ministry I see someone radical who pushed the boundaries of the status quo. I see some of the situations in the modern Church causing him to display the righteous anger from the temple. The way we are running the Church is not in my eyes in the spirit in which it started. The reason I think we see the problems we do is because we have turned away from God and are ignoring the Spirit. As I have already said they best way I see to remedy this is to return to the early Church, return to the Churches true calling. This is not going to happen if we continue to pump money into failing projects, dying Churches and continue to push our own agendas rather than follow God's.

Let me know what you think about this subject, do you have a better idea for a solution, or do you have any other thoughts on this subject. Please leave a comment below.

Walking the line

I work with street people, people with no homes, no link to society and no faith in their fellow man. These people often have no one and have been treat so badly in the past and often the present that they can not see it ever changing in the future. My role is to build relationships with these people and help them integrate in their own time and in their own unique way not by telling them how to fix their lives but walking alongside them helping to take the load when it becomes too much for them.

One phrase we have at work is that our best work is done when we are not only on the line, but sometimes when our toes are just over the line. For me this is an amazing way to work, helping people rebuild their lives themselves, giving them the option to fail and still provide the support and friendship, becoming more than just another worker pushing another agenda.

Since beginning this job 6 months ago I have come to realise that this way of working is also the way I act as a Christian. A way that I feel may not win more souls than other methods, but has a better chance of truly saving people heart mind and soul. This is because in my interactions with people I am not preaching sermons to them or trying to force people to live as I do. I am giving people the option to make their own decisions and never leaving because they act contrary to my beliefs. But day by day in every interaction I am showing them who I am, and through me I hope they see my Lord and Saviour, I hope they feel his love flowing from me. In seeing me and feeling the love Jesus has for them it leads me to a place where I have their trust and confidence where they know who I am and what I am where they know I will not judge them or condemn them. In this safe relationship they can then ask the questions burning in their hearts and minds and because they respect and trust me as I have respected and trusted them my words can carry more weight than a street preacher or another form of outreach. I see this way of working as very similar to that of our Lord and Saviour, getting out there and on to the same level as the people who need Him more than anything else. Not presenting myself as anything special, not acting as if I am better than them, but being willing to serve them and work for their benefit. 

John 15:19
If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world's terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God's terms and no longer on the world's terms, the world is going to hate you.

We need to be in the world, how else could we complete the great commission that Jesus gave us? Yet we can not be of the world because to be so would mean that we had not accepted the Fathers love and have been saved. I think though that the "best" work done by missionaries, ministers and believers through the many centuries has been done when men and women of faith have been right on the line between being in the world and of the world. It is a hard place to be a Christian, it is open and exposed to the enemy and you are open to attack. Yet if our faith is strong and we can walk the line with Jesus at our side then we can do amazing work in this dark world. If more people were willing to leave their comfort zones, to put their faith into action I feel that we would see a true revival in our time, a revival that I hear many people calling for but see few taking action towards.

A while ago I posted about loving the unlovable and with this post I want to make that point again, we as followers of Christ should be getting out there and showing Christ's love in the many dark corners out there. We need to look hard at the example that Jesus left us and think about how we are acting as His disciples on earth now. Jesus preached to those who came to listen to Him, to those who wanted to know, but he also went out there and spent time with those who didn't on a level they could relate to, helping them without asking for anything in return knowing that in their own time they would seek him out. Love the unlovable, look for the lost, but don't force your expectations or desires onto them. Show these people the love of Christ, show them that Jesus is the one who will never give up on them through your actions. When their hearts are ready they will seek him out, it may not be the fastest road to conversion but a personal relationship with God will help these people more than any amount of sermons, study or preaching ever could.

Walking the walk, even if it is in the mud

Well I did intend to post before this but as usual life got in the way. Well I say life but what mean is I was busy at Leeds Festival.

For those who don't know I am a member of the Salvation Army and for the last two years we have run a ministry at a local music festival serving cheap alternatives to the wildly over priced food and providing for physical and spiritual welfare of the festival goers.

As I normally would attend the festival anyway this is a fantastic opportunity for me to be in my natural habitat yet still display to the world unashamedly that I am a Christian and that even though My Chemical Romance blew my mind serving Jesus will always come first for me. The chance to talk to other young people who normally would have nothing to do with Jesus, the Church or the Salvation Army is one that for me can not be missed. I also have to say hearing an appreciable fraction of Leeds Festival chanting about how amazing the Salvation Army is was a moment of pride I will never forget.

For me this is the sort of Christian behaviour we should always be aiming for, being in the world but not part of it. Showing the world we love them, yet also showing them how by being just a little different life can be so much better with Jesus. Walking the road that Jesus would want us to take, getting down and dirty with the unwashed (which with it being wet and muddy at Leeds Festival was oh so true this year). We may not have converted anyone at Leeds festival this year, but for us that was never the point, what we did do was sow thousands of seeds, plant tens of thousands of thoughts about why 65 people took on the challenge of taking care of 75,000 people living in a field for the weekend. Some of these seeds and thoughts will lead to people looking into the Salvation Army, finding out about the Church and Jesus for possibly the first time and maybe next year they will be ready for the conversation about how to have Jesus in their lives too.

Check out the coverage we got from the BBC http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-14631755

SocIety and econoME

To begin with I need to say to a certain reader (you know who you are) thank you for a great discussion and debate about this subject. It has set off some fantastic thoughts in my head and has made me think hard about both my ideas about society and economy and my place in the world as a Christian.

Yesterday I was talking to a reader of this blog who I have come to think of as a friend about governments and societies. This was not kicked off as would be expected by the current situation in the middle east but by comparing the governments of the UK and the US. At times it was a fairly heated debate but always friendly and constructive, it showed our strong beliefs on both sides of the debate but also our mutual respect which I felt made the discussion much more constructive and firmly Christian. If my friend would like to write a response to this post I would be more than happy to link to it for you all to read.

So I have been thinking about how we take our place in society and how that sits for us as Christians. As Christians where do we stand in modern society and what should we be doing as Christians in society and should our faith be a deciding factor in voting.

When thinking about writing this post two words came came to my mind, society and economy and more specifically socIety and econoME. As a Christian we are taught that we should think about and serve our fellow man, we should look to help those in need and always look to help the poor. but what does this mean when it comes to society and economy? what does this mean in terms of the governments we should vote for and our outlook on our national and global states.

In my opinion I believe this means we should be looking towards governments who are trying to help as many people as possible. I believe we should be voting for governments who are looking to support everyone so that as many people as possible are helped and that care is provided for all. In a world where we are all looking at a financial situation that is not too good, that our societies are struggling to pay for all the services we have had in the past what should our thoughts on this be?

I think that we often fall in to the trap of thinking about what is it that I want out of society and in living in an economy where we are all encouraged to look after number one and being comfortable with that. It seems that at times we look after ourselves and then we look to how we can help people with what we have left. We think that as long as we are living comfortably then whatever we have left after that we can then use to help the people we should be helping.

This though is surely the wrong way to be thinking about it, surely we should be looking to the way that Jesus and then the Apostles and then the early Church lived and take the lead from there. If you look to how they lived then everything was held in common and everyone's basic needs were taken care of. After that then everything left over was used to help those who needed it and to further the work of God.

I am not suggesting however that we should all move our society towards some sort of communism, but I am suggesting that we should take the spirit of this culture and apply it to our own. I am however suggesting that we should look to take care of our basic needs and then look towards how we can use the rest to help those in need and to further God's Kingdom on Earth. We should not be looking at how I will look after myself, we should be trusting God because He has promised to care for us and protect us and so we will be take care of, we should be looking to see how we can help those who are in need. And we should be using this to show God to the world and teach this idea of giving to the world. If we are clothed and fed with a roof over our head and we have the equipment and provisions to do the work we need for God then we should be using the rest to help those in need.

I think I have go on enough for one post, I still have more I want to say on this subject so if you tune in tomorrow I will post part two of this comment on society and our Christian place in it.

I must be growing up

I have had a fantastic day. Normally me and my older brother do not get along that well, but today we spent hours together without a bad word said and thoroughly enjoyed every minute. So what was it that has made such a difference, well it is another symptom of my wanting to settle and grow up. This morning our Church had a coffee morning and my extended family were sat around and we were discussing my possible new job. Part of this discussion was that I will need a car for this job and I have been talking with my parents about the possibility of buying a new one. And so today I have been out looking at cars and test driving them with my brother.

We looked at a number of cars at a number of different dealers and talked a lot about the practicalities and needs compared to what is available and within the price range. It so happens that my brother is also buying a new car as well and we have been discussing the pros and cons of various cars that are available. As it turns out we may end up settling on buying cars from the same dealer and manufacturer but that is mainly to do with the fact that we both want a good car and don't want to pay a huge amount for it if we don't have too.

Although my life is in a state of flux and I am still really only in the early stages of sorting my life out after the mess I made of it during my teens and early twenties. But as I said yesterday it is amazing how much God can change someone's life and outlook in such a short space of time. I hope that this is a good sign towards my brother and I can sort things out and stop the continual infighting that there has been for the last twenty odd years. God moves in mysterious ways, I am glad He chose to work through the process of buying a car today as not only has it helped in my relationship with my brother but it was a huge amount of fun too.

Enough said

With thanks to ASBO Jesus

Is Jesus the light of your heart?

I know I have talked about callings a number of times, and I have talked about my own calling a few times without really expanding on it, which I will do one day. I have been struggling with things recently, self doubts, problems with the logistics and at times I have felt a little bit like Sisyphus. Not many people know this as I have been trying to keep a positive face to the world and have been trying to trust that it will all work out right.

I mentioned last night that I attended a study group for people who feel they are being called to God's work. During this session there were a couple of not to lightly veiled references to the fact that it has taken me some time to get everything I need to do for the current stage of the process  I am on done and some of it is still outstanding. After a small amount of discussion I made the point that I had been taking my time to ensure I had done everything to my satisfaction and that I feel no pressure from God to do things any quicker than I am.

I know what it is that I feel God is calling me to do and I am confident that in this I do have things the right way round. But there is a raft of things that I feel God is directing me towards doing before I officially commit to what it is He wants me to do. It is sometimes difficult for me to explain the reasons for doing what it is I feel I need to be doing, and if I am completely honest often I do not know why I am doing what I am doing more than half of the time, I just know it is the right thing to do. Because of this I find it is often difficult for other people to understand my "reasoning" behind the things I do, and I find it very difficult to explain my "reasoning" too.

The thing that keeps me going on the track that I am on and that keeps me faithful despite the fact that I often don't know where it is I am going is because Jesus is the light of my heart. Since giving my heart to Jesus I have never been let down by Him, every time I put my trust in Him I am amazed at the blessings He heaps onto me. I know that God is there for me in all things, good and bad, that no matter what the world and the enemy throw at me that God is greater and that He has greater plans for me just around the corner. Since allowing Jesus into my heart to become the light in there I have found that He has worked such a change. Life is not any easier or less painful, there are still many things I need to change about my life, but there have been so many changes and blessings so far that I look forward to looking back over my whole life and seeing how much He will do in all my life. I hope I can always put my whole trust in God and that I can always follow His direction.

Vocational fellowship

Tonight I attended something that a number of people have been asking me to go to for a long time. As I have said that I feel God is calling me to work for Him a number of people have directed me towards things that will help me in this journey. One of these events is the vocational fellowship group meeting that I attended tonight.

The group is a collection of people who all feel called to god's work in some way and there is a range of ages in attendance. There is a wide range of backgrounds present and it provides an interesting mix of ideas and views in the group.

This is only the first time I attended and I don't want to say too much about it, but I did really enjoy attending and hope that I will continue to be able to attend into the future. I am looking forward to continue attending in order to work through the study they are doing together, "If you want to walk on water then you have to get out of the boat". It is a study people have said good things about to me and that people have advised me to look at, as a member of this group it will be good to go through it with these people who are all on a similar journey.

Matthew 5:17-20 (NIV)
The Fulfillment of the Law 

     “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

How deep the Father's love for us

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Last night we sang this song at Church and the way it was used and the context of the meeting it was a really powerful moment. For me specifically the three verses highlighted have a particularly strong message. Within these three verses there are a couple of lines that speak to me in due to the life I used to have and the way I used to live. These lines are "Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers" and "It was my sin that held Him there, Until it was accomplished".

However I know that I need not worry about my past life and sins because I know that Jesus has entered my life and is working on fixing the flaws from the inside. I know that I can see the changes myself and hope that the world can see that I am a changed man but also that they see that Christ is the cause of that change. Learning to rely on God's plan and power instead of the small intelligence and skills I have.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

A love like Jesus from Egyptian Christians

I have so far avoided talking about the problems in Egypt so far as I have not really had the time to fully understand what is going on. I have seen the pictures in the news and have seen some very disturbing images from various media channels. Possibly the worst I have personally seen is the video of a green van running down people in the street, I have provided a link to the video but would advise discretion as it is very disturbing. Each night while watching the news with my parents the stories from Egypt inevitably become a talking point with my parents talking about the time they spent there.

But the story I really want to talk about has its roots a little further back than the riots. During New Years Mass at a Coptic Church in Alexandria a suicide attack left 23 Coptic Christians dead and 97 others injured. The Coptic Church faces many threats from Islamist extremists and have faced adversity many times and while they are "free" to practice their religion in reality the legal system makes it as difficult as it can for Christians. In the aftermath of the attack subsequent attacks were suspected and it appeared as if the situation could easily escalate and more attacks on the Coptic community could follow.

Roll on to the recent riots from the Egyptian population in their attempts to force a regime change in their country and an amazing sight of Christian love from Egyptian Christians for their Muslim neighbours. Now don't get me wrong I have not made the mistake of labelling all Muslims as extremists and I am fully aware that Islam is a peaceful religion. But for me the image below shows Christians living out the very essence and teachings of Christ.

Egyptian Christians protecting their Muslim neighbours as they pray in Tahir Square.
Picture from The Islamist Workplace.

Luke 10:29-37 (NIV)

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

I don't think anyone could blame the Christians of Egypt if they decided to shy away and find somewhere safe for themselves. I think people could even understand the Christians of Egypt not wanting to risk their own lives for the sake of a religion and community that has in the past been openly hostile towards them and through legislation tries to make their lives as difficult as possible. I think It could also be understood that a community that has the extreme wings of the Islamists could have become an object of hate for them. But these Christians at considerable danger to themselves are living out the teachings of Christ, loving their neighbour, serving their neighbours loving those who have hated them for their love of Christ and with no real reward for themselves. To create a human shield to try and protect their Muslim neighbours takes real conviction and a love like that of Jesus.

Matthew 10:22 (NIV)
     All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.

We have been told, taught and warned that because of our love for the Lord we will be the object of hate. But through the strength we are given through Christ we can stand firm and be safe in the knowledge that Christ sees our actions and will reward us for our faith. Those of us who can stand firm in the face of adversity and love our fellow man will be saved. The truth that we need to remember is that we can all stand firm if we rely on the power and strength of Christ instead of our own strength.

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
     I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

My thoughts and prayers are with the people of Egypt as they go through this troubled and violent time. My prayers are that this situation can be solved with the least amount of further bloodshed and violence. I also pray that whatever the outcome of the unrest in Egypt right now that the result will be a country that is free open and democratic, a country that is respectful of all people regardless of their religion. I also pray that we can all learn from the example set by these brave Christians as they live out their beliefs and the teachings of Christ that we too can do the same in whatever circumstance we find ourself in even if we have to place ourselves at risk to do so.

Amazed by nature

My family think I am stupid at times, despite the qualifications and the higher level education they think some of the questions I ask are just plain daft. And I would be willing to admit that on the surface they appear to be, but on further though I think not. An example of one of these questions is;

"Why don't rivers run out of water?"

I know that in some places with little rain fall they do, but in the UK where I live we get a lot of rain and our rivers do not run dry, at least not often. The thing is when you think of the amount of water needed to fill the river, and then the speed the river flows at it is a phenomenal amount of water.

And it is not just questions like this, even things I understand and have quite a high level of knowledge on such as fluid dynamics AKA wind I am still amazed by. How can something as insubstantial as air, something invisible be the cause of so much destruction? How can it be so forceful and powerful? Like I say I understand the answers to this question but I am still constantly amazed and awed by nature.

There is a song that is sung by the choir at my Church and at the moment I can not remember enough about it to find the lyrics. The whole song in my memory and defiantly the lines I remember speak of God's awesomeness and the power of the nature He controls;

The mighty oceans thunder His awe inspiring name,

The breakers crash are roar with joy as they claim His victory,

I wish I knew more of the song to share with you, if anyone does know it let me know as I am sure there is a whole post in that song. 

The thing is that God is an awesome God, He is powerful and the things He does and the things He has made will always surpass our understanding, even if we think we know all we need about them. There are so many things in this world that we just take for granted, so many things that should blow our minds to the point where we would get almost nothing done. But we have made them into mundane things not to worry or think about in order that we do not get distracted. I think that at times we all need to take time out to go and be overwhelmed by God's awesomeness through nature and the universe. His whole creation is so fantastic that we can not dwell on it every day otherwise we would never be able to do His work. But from time to time go out and experience this wonderful world He has made for us and allow your mind to be awed by the beauty and scope of His work. 

Do you love your brother?

1 John 4:20-21

     If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.

This is a concept that I will willingly admit to struggling with, there are certain people who at times cause me to come very close to breaking this commandment. I would not say that I go so far as hating anyone but at times certain people in certain situations have caused me to think some distinctly unchristlike thoughts.

I know that in being a Christian we should aim to be Christlike, to act as He acted and to love as He loved and I know this includes loving the unlovable. I know that this is axiomatic but it is something that we should not just brush over, something we should explore and consider carefully. I know that loving the unlovable is a paradox but through Him all things impossible become possible. If we have accepted God and the Spirit has come on us and dwells within us then these things that are humanly impossible become possible.

I was asked a little while ago by my minister about my feelings regarding my ex, what feelings remained, did I hate her or was there a part of me that still loved her. The answer I gave surprised me more than I think it surprised her. The reason being the one person in the world who has done more to hurt me than anyone else, the one person who in the eyes of the world I would have a justified cause to hate I don't. No matter how I think about it, no matter how much the memories hurt I can not bring myself to hate the person I once loved so much. I would also say that there is likely to always be a part of me that remembers and longs for the good times between us, she will always be a part of my heart even if it is a very small part.

On the flip side of this there is a particular client I have cause to deal with at work who would certainly be the cause of many a tarnished halo. He is a particularly difficult person to work with, he is one of those people who goes out of his way to provoke a response from people, someone so in need of attention he will do anything to get it even if it is negative attention. He works out exactly which buttons to press and works out which subjects are most likely to get a rise out of each individual. All of the staff at work to our shame have at times avoided this person and passed him off to a colleague and is the subject of much venting in the staff rooms. I felt particularly shamed the other day when one of my colleagues passed comment that as I intend to give my life to full time ministry and this person was getting to me it was particularly bad. Now all of my colleagues and most of the residents I work with know I am a Christian and most also know I intend to give my life to God's work and I felt I had let God down by my actions in this subject.

How can I someone who is a practising Christian and who is determined to do everything I need to to grown in the faith, someone who has grown to the point of being able to forgive the one person in the world who truly hurt me not feel the fraternal love towards this one person. I know that we are not Christ and that we will never be close to being Him, but we have to try. I know that I should be asking the Lord for help in this matter and hopefully God can use me as the person who can make a difference in this person's life. I pray that God will grant me the patience and the grace to work with this resident and that He will keep my feathers unruffled. If I am to boast that "I love God" then I must also be able to boast "I love all my brothers" too, I know this won't happen over night and will be something I am likely to need to work on for my whole life, but I do love God and so through Him I must learn to love my brother too.

The fruits of the spirit - II

Galatians 5:22-23

     But the fruit of the Spirit is 

                 love,

                 joy, 

                 peace, 

                 patience, 

                 kindness, 

                 goodness, 

                 faithfulness, 

                 gentleness 

                            and self-control. 

Against such things there is no law.

This mornings post was on the fruits of the Spirit, since then I have had some time to think about these fruits and what they mean. It has almost become a topic that has become an obsession with the song that has been in my head through to God giving me direction to write this second post today. It has been one of those days where God has decided to be unsubtle, there have been many and frequent signs of fruit today and many situations where the fruits have been needed but also been shown through others. This has come in the form of the six crates of bananas and 12 cases of cherries at work meaning everyone I have seen at work has been carrying fruit, to the man at the museum today showing patience and kindness towards the residents I took along for a day out.

I am not sure where I read it, but recently I read a blog post about the fruits. In this post the writer talked about how people who have the Spirit within them will naturally begin to produce and display fruits. When I read this and while writing my two posts on the fruit of the Spirit I have gone through the list and thought about which of the fruits I posses.

The first one on the list is one that I struggle with at the moment, I know that there are people that I do love, I love all my family and friends, I love my Godson more than anyone or any thing. But there are things I struggle with in love, I struggle with romantic love since my last big relationship and I still struggle to have love for all fellow man at times. However I am getting better at this and since I took on my job with the homeless I have found that I am finding myself with more understanding for my fellow man.

Joy is something that I have never struggled with, even in my darkest days and toughest times I have never struggled with being joyful. I have always been able to see the good in my life and enjoy my life.

Peace and patience for me come as a pair. In my family I am often the one who needs patience and by having it manage to keep the peace. Patience is something that I have developed in my life and I know that when very stressed it sometimes goes out the window but it is something I have developed over the years. Keeping the peace is also something I have had to work on in both my family and work life and something I have found is an ability that is growing in time.

Another pair for me is kindness and goodness. Being kind and good is something that all Christians really should be, it is something the world expects us to be. Being kind and good is something that everyone who has heard of Him knows Christ was. I have tried always to be kind and good but have at times struggled to be at all times. There are situations in life that have and do drive me mad and cause me to be anything but good and kind, but again I do try.

Faithfulness is something I definitely do not struggle with, I believe myself to be a very faithful person who is willing to do anything I can for the people I love. With the exception of the time I ran away from God and the Church I can not think of a single time when I could have been classed as unfaithful.

Gentleness is another trait that I feel that I do posses. I love animals and have had many many pets in my life, many of which were small animals and require very gentle handling. Also I do have a very gentle side to my personality, however it is often hidden from general view and people often do not see it until I allow them to become quite close. So I guess this is a trait I have but need to so some real work on.

The last trait in the list is self control. Now until a year ago I would say that I really struggled with this last trait. I have in the past had many problems with doing things on impulse and an inability to say no to things that I really want, and at times just things that it was possible to have. This has led to many negative impacts on my life, however since I became a Christian, since I truly became a Christian this is something I have found easier to keep on top of, I guess in a simple way, I have developed self-control.

Without trying to sound big headed I feel that I certainly display at least some of the fruits of the Spirit. I feel that it is something that as I am growing in the faith the fruits that I am displaying are also growing, which for me is a fantastic sign that I am truly growing in the spirit. I think it is a good thing that we all sit down and consider how we are doing in the faith, if we are growing fruits for the Lord. I would encourage you all to look at the list and consider are you growing fruits, if not, is there something you can do, if you are can you possibly grow more?