I'm a Christian, But......

Before I start this post I want to put out this disclaimer. I do not claim now and have never claimed to be a shining light of Christian purity. I would willingly admit that I often get things wrong and that I have made many mistakes past, present and likely in the future too. I also know that I myself am far from sinless despite my best efforts to be what I should be as a Christian.

Ok now I have said that I feel an awful lot happier about the rant I am about to go on. The thing I want to talk about is Christians who push themselves into positions of influence and set themselves up as supposed good examples who knowingly live in unchristian ways.

I doubt it is only me who has trouble with people who seek out positions of influence and power in the Church for their own means and then go on to act in thoroughly unchristian ways. I can't help but think that a at least part of the problems we have in the Church are in some way connected to the bad examples of leaders who are not there for God. In this I mean the people who need to be in these positions of power and influence for their own gratification and own purposes. These people who then go on to continue to act in worldly ways with inappropriate behaviour, gossiping and spreading rumours. This poison then permeates its way through Churches, in fact The Church infecting people further setting poor examples to those young or weak in the faith who perhaps then see this as acceptable behaviour.

As I said in the disclaimer, I do not believe myself to be an example of what a Christian should be, far from it. To be honest I would be willing to admit I fall far short of where I should be as a Christian many times. But without then trying to make myself sound any better, I do not claim to be a perfect example, I do not pretend to be anything but a sinful man daily asking the Lord for forgiveness. I pray that Christians would see the sin in their own lives, the gossiping, rumour spreading and general sinful behaviour and acknowledge it. By acknowledging it they can not only confront it and attempt to drive it from their lives but also show others that while sin is not ok or acceptable it is going to happen. Show that by having a relationship with Jesus and asking for forgiveness we can grow as Christians and in faith.

These people know that what they are doing is wrong, unchristian and hurtful, they know they are causing pain to those they wrong and who they gossip about. Rumours based on idle speculation, conjuncture and wild fantasy that they spread cause a level of hurt that is known only to the individual and the Father. When friends turn on friends and say things that are hurtful or cause situations where the truth is either veiled or hidden purposely for their own gain. When friends manipulate circumstances to gain an advantage over friends all of these things are a source of the pain that Christ felt upon the cross.

Paul's letters to the early Church talk about situations we still see today, brothers and sisters in Christ are still acting in ways that are far from Christlike and in ways we have be warned and instructed not to act. We are all going to sin, we are all going to make mistakes but I can't help but think that these people are claiming to be followers of Christ but have not accepted the Spirit, have not accepted Christ's forgiveness and are not following the two greatest commandments.

Matthew 22:36-40
When the Pharisees heard how he had bested the Sadducees, they gathered their forces for an assault. One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: "Teacher, which command in God's Law is the most important?"
Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them."

No Surrender, We Will Not Retreat

How many people are prepared to give up everything for Jesus, how many people are prepared to turn their back on everything they have known, a safe life, a solid career in order to follow the will of God? I know many Christians who would say that they would, many Christians who would claim that they put Jesus first in all things.

How many actually do though?

We see many people who claim to Christians, who claim to be strong of faith who will just go through the motions, who will turn up week in week out "doing their bit" and "chipping in". When asked about their calling they will either ramble off the subject or say something along the lines of "I don't know what God is calling me to do yet".

I understand that God works differently with different people, and some people are desperately searching for God's plan in their lives. But I would say the problem for those genuinely searching and those just showing a Christian face on Sundays is roughly the same. They have not given control of their lives over to the Lord, they have not offered to do His will come what may.

The people who say they are praying for direction and to know God's plan for them are either not praying ernestly or are holding back. When you ask God how he wants to use you, when you offer your life to God with no provisions or caveats then and only then will you begin to see His plan mapped out in your life.

In the Church we do not need more people who are just along for the ride, we do not need more people who are wanting to remain in the world. What we do need are people who are willing to give up everything, people who are willing to say "No surrender, we will not retreat". We need people who are on fire for God, burning with a passion that only the Holy Spirit can bring.

Following on in a similar vein to yesterday I would rather see a smaller Church of people who are really on fire for God. A Church cut back and pruned to those who are healthy in the Lord. I believe that when we get a Church like this, a Church following His will, a Church willing to sacrifice all it has, that is when we see Church growth, that is when we see revivals and that is when God can do his best work through his Churches.

How many people can say they are willing to give their all to god? How many Christians are willing to do anything He requires?

I don't know the answer to this but I pray that the Lord will find more people open to His will and that we follow His ways to bring his Churches back to life so that He does not decide to prune us and remove us from the Church vine.

Cutting back

Pruning - To trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, esp. to increase fruitfulness and growth.

After a conversation with my flat mate and having being forced to watch a TV program about attempting to revive a dying village in Wales I have been thinking about dying Churches. These thoughts have been running round in my head for a number of days in a different form. This has brought me round to thinking about how we deal with small, shrinking and dying Churches.

In the UK we have a problem with shrinking congregations, reduced Church attendance and Churches withering and dying. In towns and villages up and down the country groups of Christians are fighting a losing battle to keep their Churches alive. My question is, are they wasting their time and is there a different way to tackle this problem.

John 15:1-2

 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

Now for me it seems obvious that when something dies and has no life left in it something needs to be done. As in plants or indeed bodies if a portion of it dies then it should be cut off. If this is not done the dead or dying portion sucks up valuable resources and deprives the healthy areas of the things they need to survive. It can also be the case that these dead and dying portions become rotten or infected and because they have not been cut off they infect other areas.

As in gardening and medicine the Church should also be aware of areas of itself that have died or are dying. It is not that Churches can not be saved, unfortunately some can not, but once they are past a point is it wise to pour resources down a black hole when they could be spent expanding work elsewhere. As Jesus said, if a branch is not bearing fruit then it will but cut off, Jesus even tells us that these branches will be left to wither a dry up and then be cast on to the fire, they are no good for God if they are not doing his will. Even those Churches who are strong will be pruned back from time to time in order to bring them renewed strength.

The point I want to make is not that shrinking Churches are a bad thing, sometimes good can come from this and a Church that is pruned back to healthy stock can flourish again. However a dead a rotten Church is doing no one any good and could in fact be doing harm. I can't be the only one who thinks that the hard decision should be made to shut down dying Churches and use the money in different ways to extend God's kingdom. It is not even necessary to remove the money from the community it is in but perhaps use it in a more constructive way in a community than shoring up a failing Church.

When I think of Jesus and his ministry I see someone radical who pushed the boundaries of the status quo. I see some of the situations in the modern Church causing him to display the righteous anger from the temple. The way we are running the Church is not in my eyes in the spirit in which it started. The reason I think we see the problems we do is because we have turned away from God and are ignoring the Spirit. As I have already said they best way I see to remedy this is to return to the early Church, return to the Churches true calling. This is not going to happen if we continue to pump money into failing projects, dying Churches and continue to push our own agendas rather than follow God's.

Let me know what you think about this subject, do you have a better idea for a solution, or do you have any other thoughts on this subject. Please leave a comment below.

You are blessed when...

It's that time again, the linked Bible study. This month Caron has decided that we should look the Beatitudes for inspiration and so this months linked post is on Matthew 5:1-12. In addition to this we have special guest blogger Tamzin joining in with the fun. Please check out the thoughts the other two have had as they are both very wise and knowledgeable. So without further ado here goes;

Just to let you guys know, this is the third post I have written on this passage. At first I thought that I may use the Monty Python blessed are the cheese makers scene but after getting about half way into it I decided that I did not like what I had written and so began again.This time I used a quote from one of my favourite writers, Terry Pratchett which was based on the line blessed are the meek, but again I decided I did not like the direction it was going in. So here goes my third and hopefully final attempt to write on the Beatitudes.

Matthew 5:1-12
     Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.

He said:
     “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
     Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
     Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
     Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
     Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
     Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
     Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
     Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

     “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

This is a passage we have all read or heard taught before, it is one of the most well know of Bible passages so much that it has passed into popular culture in things like Monty Python's Life of Brian. But for me I find that the most important part of the passage is the last two verses. We all know about the actions we should do for Christ and the rewards and blessing we and people with these attributes receive. But we seem to forget the warning we receive about the bad things that are likely to happen to us as a result of following Christ.

In our modern world we have become comfortable and tolerant of people and their "lifestyle" choices. Because of this we tend to sit back and take a somewhat relaxed view on things that we don't want to rock the boat we don't want to be the group people dislike because of our actions.

But Christ tells us that every time we are insulted, discredited or hated for our lives in Christ then we are blessed.We should be happy and give cheer when these things happen to us, when the enemy is fighting back against us with all he has, at this point we have the hosts of angels cheering us on, the saints of the past praying for our success. We truly are in the best of company when we are under attack in this way, for the followers of God and Christ have never had it easy and have faced much adversity in the past. Blessed are those who follow Christ through adversity for they will know true happiness in Heaven.

Why do you still willingly crucify Jesus?

Now this post was triggered by something that happened yesterday, it is not a dig at anyone in particular or a personal attack but it is a heartfelt plea. In our lives we have a choice of what to do with our lives, we can choose to follow Christ or we can go and do what we want, do it our way. Doing it our way is not necessarily sinful, but when attempting to do things on our own we have neither the strength or the ability to hold out against the methods of the enemy for long. I know that we can choose to sin without the enemy being behind it, but when we weaken ourselves by excluding Christ we only make it easier for him when he does launch an inevitable attack.

When we have a choice to do things in a way that we know Christ would not have done then we are making a concious choice to sin. When we make these concious choices to sin we are turning or backs on Christ's teachings. Worse than that, we add to the suffering Christ bore for us on the cross. Christ died for all our sins, past present and future and non of us will be sinless, it is an impossible goal. But that does not allow us scope to sin when we feel like it, it does not give us carte blanc to do what we feel like when we feel like it.

We all have the capacity to sin, we are all human after all, but that also means we have the capacity, especially through Christ to choose not to sin also. Think about your life and think about the choices you make, your actions and your motivations. Are they all that they should be, or does sin enter in from time to time, is it that you are sometimes doing the right thing for the wrong reason. Even an action that looks right can be sinful if it is done with sinful and wrong motives.

If you want to live for Christ it requires a whole of life change, it is not enough to just say that you believe in Christ and want to live for Him. If that was true then you would be making the changes to live like Christ, you can't truly believe in the saving Grace and Love of Christ if you are content to remain the way that you were before you "found" Christ. Sure believing in Christ and the desire to live for Him is a good thing, but it is but one step of many steps to following Christ, taking one step towards Him is not following, following requires step after step after step, you have to walk. Just taking one step leaves the rest of your personal path with Christ unwalked and unexplored.

Each time we sin, each time we choose to go against Christ we are contributing to the suffering of our crucified Lord, we drive the nails further in we add to the weight on His heart and shoulders. When we knowingly and willingly choose to do what we know is wrong in Christ we become as much a part of the crucifixion as the centurion, Pilate or the Pharisees.

We know what Christ wants us to do, we also know our own human wants and desires, but we need to be mindful of where these desires come from and the price we pay for giving in to them. We need to ask God to help us with our weaknesses and to help us live without giving into them, but we also need to accept that help. We gain nothing from praying time and time again for help if when it comes along we choose not to accept it. Take a look at your life, look and see the places when you need it to be cleaned or even the parts that need to be cut away. Ask for help in doing this and then set to work with God's guidance.

Philippians 4:13 (KJV)

     I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

Lean on me

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

          (Bill Withers)

While out yesterday I heard this song playing and although I know this song well I decided to look up the lyrics and read through them. While I was doing this I also looked to find out what it was Bill Withers had to say about the song itself too. 

As far as I can gather the song has no Christian connotations or meanings and is simply a song about friendship. It is a song about friends being there for one another in times of need, it is about how friends provide comfort and support for each other in times of need. But when I got to the third verse I could not help but be struck by the wording;

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

If there is a load you have to bear? Now where have I heard that before?

Psalm 55:22
     Pile your troubles on God's shoulders-
          he'll carry your load, he'll help you out.

I talked about how our relationship with God is that of a parent and young child yesterday, our relationship with Jesus is not the same as the one we have with God, it is different and has a different dynamic. With Jesus we have a friendship, a true selfless loving friendship;

John 15:15 (NIV)
     I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Jesus called us His friends, He had the power to come in and rule the world as His personal Kingdom, He had the power to take the world and do as He would with it. And He did, but not in the way that mankind would, He took the world and made us His friends, we who could and should have been His slaves, He made in to friends. 

This is an amazing thing, Jesus, the son of God, the King of Kings, Lord of all, the Word through which all that was made, was made, He wants to be our friend. I know I harped on about this the other day about mind blowing moments, but walking with Christ is full of mind blowing moments, and my mind is blown yet again by this thought. Just consider for a moment, God is our Father and Jesus is our Friend, if we recognise and accept this then we should realise that we truly are a blessed people and nothing, not even the enemy can stand in our way.

Lean on God when you're not strong,

Jesus will be your friend,

They will help you carry on,

For it wont be long,

Until you're gonna need

Jesus to lean on.

Blue Monday

Now depending on who you ask either today or next Monday is classed as blue Monday, or the most depressing day of the year. The reasoning behind this is that due to the reduced amount of sunlight, the cold weather, the huge amount of time until the summer and next Christmas and the debt incurred and the weight gained over the past Christmas all compound. With all these negatives compounding it is somewhat understandable that people can feel down and depressed, add into it being the first day of the work week and it is hard to picture a more generally depressive day.

However there are two ways of thinking about it, yes there are a lot of things to be depressed about and there are a lot of things that you would struggle to get excited about. But the way I see it is that there is so much more to be cheerful and excited about. If this is the lowest point in the year then surely things can only get better from here on out. If this is the most generally blue day then every other day in the year in general is likely to be better.

James 1:2-4
     Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

The Bible tells us that although we are going to get tough times we are going to have periods that we feel as though everything is being thrown at us at once. James tells us that it is in these times that our faith shows through and through these struggles that we learn, develop and mature.

Isaiah 48:10
     Do you see what I've done?
          I've refined you, but not without fire.
          I've tested you like silver in the furnace of affliction.

God has not promised us that we will always have an easy ride, He has not told us that He will prevent the world from throwing us around on the rough waves of life. He has however promised that He will use this suffering and the affliction we suffer for our good, He has promised to bring us through it all and that we will be stronger on the other side. We have to trust that God is always by our side through all things, protecting and teaching us as we traverse the stormy seas of life. 

1 Peter 5:8-11

1 Peter 5:8-11
     Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ-eternal and glorious plans they are!-will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

Winston Churchill - Never before.....

My life is very rarely planned, the fact that I currently have and am following a plan probably says more about my faith in God than it does my own planning skills. I often think about organising a plan for this blog, having posts prepared in advance and to follow some sort of schedule in what is going to be posted. But then that really isn't me and it wouldn't allow me to post some of the random things that happen or occur to me.

An example of this is that last night while doing some research work on an upcoming post I have really been desperate to blog about a totally unrelated quote kept surfacing in my mind. It was one of the most famous lines that Winston Churchill ever uttered;

     "Never before in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few"

                                                                                         (Winston Churchill)

This is an amazing statement about the brave fighter pilots and support staff who fought on the front line in the battle of Britain. Air based warfare was still in its infancy with new technology changing the circumstances regularly, tipping the scales one way or the other. I have a great respect for the men who were part of this band of brave men and count myself lucky to call one of them my Grandad. However although those who fought for us and died for us in this battle do deserve our respect and should always be remembered it is not about the who I want to speak.

The reason I want to talk about this quote is as I say not about those who the original quote is about, rather I want to talk about an amendment I began to think of last night.

     "Never before in the field of human existence was so much owed by so many to one man"

                                                                                         (Samuel Baker)

In this I am of course talking about Jesus. Because never before or since has anyone made such a sacrifice that does so much for so many people. Although there are many people throughout history who have made huge sacrifices in order that others may life or that others may have a better life there has never been anyone like Jesus or who has made such a huge sacrifice. The sheer enormity of Christs sacrifice can not be overstated. It was not a sacrifice to save a few people, or even many people, it was a sacrifice to save All people. Jesus died so that we could be saved, so that we could live not just now but for all eternity with the Father. In dying Jesus made it possible for all sinners to be forgiven and washed clean so that they could be acceptable to the Father. One man, Jesus, died so that we could have everything, no one before or since has or could have done the same. 

I know that I am a sinner, unfortunately being a Christian does not inoculate you against sin. It does however provide a medication so that you can cure the sin you have now and rid yourself of it. Jesus shows us a way to live so that sin need not be an issue anymore, in following His teachings we can move towards a life less tainted with sin, move towards purity. Yes you will stumble and fall but Jesus will always be there to pick you up again and help you to try and try and try again. You will never achieve it without Him, it is only through Him that you can hope to reach Salvation. Jesus gave everything for you, can you give all you have to Him?

Jesus

Sin

Advent Challenge Day 21

This challenge is now complete, please feel free to browse all of the 

completed tasks via the Advent Challenge tab.

This task was one which was quite important for me to do for myself. The reason being is that this year has produced a number of people close to me who are going to find at least Christmas this year difficult. There are different reasons why people may find this season difficult, but I have worked out recently that most issues eventually boil down to loss or relationship break down.

There is another reason I wanted to do this task too, because the last two Christmas seasons have not been the most fun for me with one thing and another and I can appreciate people finding the season difficult to bear. I don't want to go into too much detail about specific people I prayed for in this task, although there are a number of them. All I will do is outline the rough ideas behind it, and hopefully it may encourage others to pray for those people in the world who struggle with the same.

The main area I prayed around was the people I know who have lost loved ones this year at some point, the people who will be spending their first Christmas without specific people there to enjoy it with. In addition to this I prayed about those who have lost people in or near the Christmas season in the past or whose loved ones who are now gone had strong connections to Christmas.

As well as this I thought and prayed about those people who find Christmas for other reasons, it could be they have financial problems and can not celebrate in the way they would like, the homeless or those seperated from their families for whatever reason.

I finished up by thinking about the armed forces of Christian families world wide who will be spending Christmas away from their loved ones due to wars or other military engagements. Specifically I prayed for the Children of the members of the armed forces who will miss parents over Christmas and who are unlikely to understand why their parents can not be there.

I know there are many other cases and situations of why people may find Christmas difficult, but it is hard for me to think and cover them all. Yet I have faith that God is aware of it all and although I can not articulate it all into one prayer He knows about it and has something planned for each and everyone who is prepared to accept His help.

The next task in the challenge is going to be task number 4. Help someone in need. Now I am not sure how this task will pan out, but I am at work today, hopefully, and I am sure that some opportunity for me to help someone above and beyond the call of duty will present its self at some point. Until tomorrow, Merry Christmas.

Advent Challenge Day 20

This challenge is now complete, please feel free to browse all of the 

completed tasks via the Advent Challenge tab.

Support a Christmas appeal. There is one appeal that I support every year without fail, The Salvation Army Christmas Appeal.As someone who was raised in The Salvation Army it is something that I have always felt strongly about, and even when I was not a part of the Church I still actively supported the Christmas Appeal.

Both through personal donations and playing with the band every winter I do my part in supporting the local Salvation Army in raising money towards the charity work this organisation does. I always fills me with a sense of pride and privilege when ever I see people collecting for the same appeal or when I see the TV ad campaigns.

Also with working in the area where this sort of fund raising goes I have come to a much greater appreciation of what these efforts are for, who is helped by this money and the reactions that it creates. Seeing first hand the sorts of changes it can make has given me an even greater appreciation of what these efforts actually mean in real terms.

I know some people may call cheat on this task as they may claim it is something I would have done and supported anyway with or without the task. However to complete this task was somewhat of a challenge for me. Being slightly incapacitated this week with an agonising neck and shoulder injury causing me to take the week off work sick to complete this task caused me a fair bit of suffering. Standing playing carols in the freezing weather with snow on the ground with constant pain from my shoulder was not easy, and I could have easily skipped it or gone home early. But I did not, and I played with good cheer for the two hours we were out, after all some things are just worth the effort.

The task which is next in the Advent challenge is task number 10. Pray for those who find Christmas difficult. Check back tomorrow to see how this task goes, until then, Merry Christmas.

A visit to the doctors

I am a lucky person, lucky in the sense that I very rarely get ill. I have in the past had many times I have needed to go to the doctors or the hospital but mostly that has been for other people or through my many self inflicted injuries. But today I had to bite the bullet and go to the doctors, after nearly 4 days in pain I could not go any longer without sleep and being off work again is driving me insane.

But life is never quite that simple, last night everyone in my house came down with a bug, lovingly shared by my elder brother and his family, which meant that getting to the doctors now was going to be a lot more of an effort. But regardless I made it there, after half an hour managed to get registered at the surgery since my GP was still in the city where I studied at university, and I waited. It was like waiting for an eternity, feeling absolutely rotten, surrounded by ill people who all seemed to be staring at me for being an outsider even though I grew up in this small town.

Eventually I managed to see a doctor who after some time checking stupid things like my breathing, stupid because I went to him with an injured neck not respiratory problems, he finally began to prod and poke at my neck. After subjecting me to a series of examinations which I personally believe would have been covered by the Geneva convention due to their agonising outcomes he told me what I already knew. "Sir, you have a sore neck", well I never would have guessed that, and it took you 5 years at university to be able to work out these things? But anyway, he gave me some strong pain killers/anti inflammatory pills and told me to come back next week if the pain persists. Not a great help but I am hoping that the pain pills work and that I will not have to return to be subjugated to the painful examinations again.

This is all well and good, but why have I decided to share this story with you guys on here, it has nothing to do with the theme and usual content of the blog. Well the reason is twofold, firstly I wanted to rant about this and no one in my home is well enough to listen, and secondly there is a further part to this story.

The further part actually comes before I saw the doctor. While sitting in the waiting room there was a lady sitting next to me who began talking to me. After a short conversation we discovered we were both "outsiders" I have lived away for a long time and she only moved here 9 years ago, yes she is still considered an outsider, it is that sort of town. But in the course of the conversation I was able to tell her about the work that I do and my  membership of my Church, I was able to talk to her about not only the work I am doing now, but the work I feel God is calling me to. I love the opportunities God throws in our paths when we are least expecting it, yes we can be sitting in a doctors waiting room feeling like death warmed up in absolute agony, by that should not diminish our love for God or our joy at being His child. I hope I managed to be a good example of a Christian for that woman and that it will make her think about God and His place in her life, you never know what God can do with even such small seeds.

A day of agony

This morning when I awoke I was unable to move without causing myself extreme and agonising pain. It took me almost two hours to get out of bed this morning but only after I had taken fistfuls of pain killers an a fair bit of assistance from my brother. I am no stranger to pain having broken a number of bones and had plenty of injuries of various kinds in the past, amongst my friends I am known to be extremely injury prone. But today is quite possibly the most pain I have ever been in.

I am not writing this to complain about the pain or to seek sympathy, I am writing today about what the pain has made me think about. Bearing this pain today has been very difficult for me, I would love to say I have born it with good grace but I have spent the day complaining about it to my family and making sure everyone around me is aware of my pain.

In reality though the pain I have had today is really not all that bad, well for me it is, but our Lord had to deal with so much more than a sore neck. When he allowed himself to be taken and flogged, then crucified the pain he experienced would have been many many times greater than what I have had today. However this pain has made me consider what it is that Jesus went through for me, how much he suffered so that I could be forgiven and saved from the wrath of God.

It might sound strange but I am actually glad for the pain I have been in today. I am glad that through the pain I have been made to think about Jesus and his suffering. I don't pretend to think that this pain is anywhere near comparable to the suffering He went through or that by suffering this way I can understand anything about His suffering. But by the small amount of suffering I have been through I have come to appreciate how much I must mean to Him that he would go through so much for me. I mentioned to one of my friends over the weekend that I hope that in the future I can always look at the situation I am in and think what is God trying to teach me through this. I hope that I have learned the lesson that comes with this pain and will continue to learn what I need to when I need to. With a bit of luck the pain will end soon, but as long as it lasts I pray that I can handle it with better grace than I have so far.

Interesting Conversation

Well today has felt like a very long day at work, it wasn't but it sure felt like it. The day always seems to drag on forever when you have nothing to do, and today was no exception to that rule. Time flies past when you have a lot to do, today was no exception in that rule either.

All day I had practically nothing to do, I caught up with paper work, wrote reports and generally tidied up my work area. I really struggled to find things to do today, right up until my last half hour. Then it seemed as if I had become Mr Popular, everyone wanted me to do something, needed me to do a job or was desperate to chat to me about something. Eventually I managed to get round to finishing all these tasks and had only one thing left to do. I was already half an hour past my home time but one of the residents really wanted to talk.

So I sat down with this resident to talk not knowing quite what it was about.The gentleman in question had an amazing story to tell and some good questions he asked. I heard all about his long term drug addiction, his battle to overcome it, his family situation and personal life. The most amazing part of the conversation was this gentleman telling me about his faith.

After a bad experience with his addiction last week he had prayed for relief. He was in a pit of deep despair and in desperation he called out to the Lord to help. I was told of how he had received almost instant relief and had not touched any drugs since. Now in my short time working with these people I have had experiences of residents telling all sorts of nonsense in order to get staff onside for their own purposes. But this situation was different.

This gentleman who for weeks I have been trying to get to bathe, clean and tidy his room came to me in freshly laundered clothes having been recently bathed. Not only that he has cleared his room and requested the equipment in order to clean his room.

I was amazed at this gentleman's desire to know the Lord, his desire to change his life, to become everything he should be. However I was more amazed that after a 20+ year drug addiction he is experiencing absolutely no withdrawal symptoms after nearly 2 weeks without using.

Our God is a powerful and amazing God, a loving and forgiving God. I really hope this gentleman is serious about letting God into his life and that he continues to take these steps in the right direction. I was able to point him in the direction of people much stronger and more experienced in the faith than myself for him to talk to further. However I made him aware that I am available to talk to him further about this if he needs a friendly ear. I will be praying for this resident that he is able to continue on this path, the one that he sees before him and is trying to walk on. If any of you would pray for him also I know it will help, thanking you in advance for all your prayers.

We will remember them

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.
Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.
     Laurence Binyon's

Today marks the 92nd anniversary of the end of the fist world war. The Great war as it was called, the war that would bring peace to our time. Or so people thought. And yet here we are nearly a century on still fighting wars the world over.

My Paternal Grandfather was born not long after the end of WWI and lived through the troubled times of the aftermath and then WWII. During WWII his job at the coal face was deemed too important for him to fight yet the stories he has of the war on the home front were still chilling and poignant. My other Grandfather however was an RAF engineer, working on Spitfires and Hurricanes during WWII. Keeping these planes flying was of paramount importance in England surviving the war.

In these wars and the many that followed it many people have lost their lives fighting for freedom and as the politicians claim "peace". Yet still we fight on. Yes on a day like today we should remember the servicemen who have served, who have fallen or been injured fighting for their country. The job they do is one that requires bravery and courage. We should not only remember the soldiers though, we should remember everyone involved. Be they support staff or civilians, these wars impinge on many many lives, even those not directly involved. The families of soldiers left behind at home or left bereaved by wars. We should remember everyone affected by war and the problems it causes.

But we should not forget the hope that was held throughout all this time, peace. It is an aim worth holding on to, an aim as Christians we should strive daily towards. For it is not by war that we will achieve peace, but through love. Jesus commanded us to love thy neighbour, and we are more than aware that by neighbour Jesus meant our fellow man. We need to remember that we are all God's creations, that He loves us all. Let's show our love to everyone, lets strive for the peace that this can bring.

Matthew 19:26 (NIV)
     Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

What does Jesus mean to you?

This is an incredibly personal question and it is going to be different for pretty much everyone. I am not sure how well it will work but I have had an idea for something to try with this post. The Church I am a member of has a tradition of testimonies, where members of the congregation will stand up and talk about how Christ has and is working in their lives. I would love it if people would do something similar with this post. My idea is that anyone who wants to can write a post using the same title and in the same vein as this post and then link them back to each other. I think this would be a great exercise to see how Jesus is working around the world in many different lives and lifestyles.

Well to start off let me tell you a bit about myself. I am 24 years old and I am currently living in the north of England with my parents. It hasn't always been so great though.

My childhood was great, I had everything I could ever ask for, I had loving parents and was brought up in a warm and welcoming Christian Church. School bored me but somehow I always managed to come away with the highest results and once I finished it was off to University for me.

For me this is really where I consider that my life began, for the first time in my life I was living away from home doing what I wanted. I had decided to study Physics at Uni for two reasons, the first was that I was very good at it, the second is that it annoyed a lot of people back home. I say I had a happy childhood and that the Church I grew up in was warm and welcoming, but I never felt any attachment to it other than family ties. Because I had no relationship with God at this point in my life I felt no desire or reason to stay in the Church. Subsequently I stopped attending and fell into some bad habits.

My first day at Uni so easily could have been the beginning of an epic love story, within 5 minutes of arriving at my induction I had met a beautiful girl and fallen head over heels in love. After a short chat and an impromptu pub date we arranged to go on our first real date. Everything went really well, date followed date, we spent all our time together and within weeks we had realised we were falling for each other quite hard. In meeting this girl I also had some great excuses to avoid going home and attending Church. We spent as much time as we could together and if that meant not seeing my family or going to Church then it was a price I was willing to pay.

Over the next 2 years things just kept getting better, we had done the meet the parents thing, moved in together and were in our minds very happy. And so we began planning for the future, if we were going to be together I would have to meet her whole family and that meant travelling abroad. So we packed our things and flew half way around the world to meet her whole family. Again things went well, I was accepted into the family and had an amazing time relaxing and being a tourist. And just before I left to go home again, we got engaged.

We knew our families would not be happy about this as we were still at uni and had a lot of work to do in order to graduate. So we decided to wait to tell people until we were finished Uni, we were together, we were happy, waiting was no problem at all.

My partner had been ill for most of the time we were together and I did a lot to look after her and unfortunately on our return to the UK she became worse. This period of time tried my patience, tested my love and drove me to breaking point a number of times. But each time we would get through it and become stronger for it.

That was until she gradually started to feel better. With her illness my partner had dropped out of Uni and wanted to study something different, something where she could make a difference to people. So off she went back to uni and she seemed very happy. Also at about the same time we were both laid off by the company that had employed us and we took on new jobs working for a brewery. With everything that had changed we had very little time with each other but we knew it would only be for one more year.

The stress however began to tell and with her recovering health my partner was evolving into a new person. And although we could both see it neither of us wanted to admit we were growing apart. After over 4 years my partner decided enough was enough, she had met someone else and wanted to move on.

This was possibly the hardest moment of my life so far for me, I had lost everything. I had no relationship with my family, no house to live in, no partner and I had no friends in the city in which I lived. This was possibly the lowest I have ever felt. The one thing left in my life was the job working for the brewery, and that only made my troubles worse.

So tail between my legs I went home, and moved back in with my parents. I still wanted nothing to do with the Church and spent as little time with my family as I could. I spent all my time working and mourning what I had lost. My family knew there was a problem and quickly worked out that I needed help. However I refused any and all help, I just didn't care anymore.

The one positive that came out of that summer is that my Mum dragged me to Church every Sunday. I ignored everything there though and just played on my DS or phone. However slowly I began to pay attention, at first to the music, then the words and eventually the sermons themselves.

So that summer came and went and it was time for me to return to finish my last year at Uni. I found myself a small flat to live in and went back with the aim of rebuilding my life. If only it was so easy to do that. Time and again one after the other I was dealt body blows that would be difficult to get over. I lost my job, lost all but 1 of my friends and had the spectre of my ex hanging round constantly.

However the first weekend I moved back to Uni I found myself sat in a Church. I had no intention of going at all, I just wanted a walk to clear my head, yet there I was. I instantly felt at home, accepted and welcome. It sounds sad but it was one of the best feelings of my life. Over time this Church became like my family, I have a lot of friends there and it is still one of the places where I feel my happiest and most comfortable. Since I began attending there my life has picked up. In fact it is better now than it has ever been, I am truly happy, from the inside out.

So much has happened since then and most of it is documented here in this blog or will likely be in the future. And if I talk about it all this blog post would become an even bigger monster than it is.

But why is all this relevant to the question I asked?

The answer is simply that Jesus saved me.

And its not just in the spiritual sense of the born again Christian. Jesus took me from the darkest place and held me. He showed me love, peace and happiness. He showed me there was a life worth living. I don't think many people know quite how far I fell or how hard it has been to get back on top and start living again. But Jesus does, and it was by His strength that I made it back. In this brief overview I have missed a great deal out that has little bearing on the main point of the story. I fell and Jesus lifted me higher. Many times during my time at Uni I was involved in sinful activities and evil ways. But Jesus saved me from that sin too.

Jesus gave me my life back and gave me a reason to live. A reason to wake up in the morning and get out of bed. And because of this I want Him to have the whole of my life. It is not mine and has never been, even if I thought otherwise. He has just entrusted me with it for a time. He wants me for a task and now I want to go do it. All because Jesus is everything to me. I am not perfect and don't always do what is right, but I sure do try to and I want to follow His plans for me.

I hope this has not been too long or depressing for people, but I hope you take it for what it is. If you want to join in my experiment do not feel you have to write a huge post. Just write what Jesus means to you, if you want to include why then that is great too.. I hope people do join in with this, if you do please send me the link as a comment or on jerrathorn@gmail.com so that I can post it below. All I ask in return is that you link to this post in your response, thanks.

Check out the people who have already posted on this title.

Untitled

I just could not think of a name to give this post. No matter what I thought of it just didn't seem right. To be honest I am not quite sure how to start this blog either.

Today I was at a funeral. I never met the man and I know almost nothing about him at all. It was exceptionally sad and I am not ashamed to admit I was almost brought to tears at a number of points. There were very few people at the funeral and for me that made the sadness of the ceremony more poignant. During the whole service I could not take my eyes of the man's son, he looked to be only about 10. This young boy at such a young age has been through so much, a broken home and losing his dad to drugs. I was amazed by this young boy as he led the funeral precession walking in front of the hearse and then leading the coffin in to the chapel.

While sitting through the funeral I thought about all the evil in this world, all the senseless and needless hurt and destruction. I thought of how many people are hurting in this world with no knowledge of the Saviour who came to die for them. How many people die without ever knowing how much Jesus could do for them. Not only that but how many people out there have lost someone close and have no consolation from our Heavenly Father.

As I sat in the chapel this afternoon I prayed through almost the whole service for the young boy and the father he has lost. I prayed that God would comfort and guide this young boy as he heads into a life without his dad a life which must seem very dark for him right now. But not only that I prayed for the soul of the dead man and the friends of his I accompanied to the service that they may learn from his mistake and try to make positive changes in their lives. Since starting my job working with these people in such need today was easily the hardest so far. And yet am am so glad God has put me in a position where there is so much good to be done, it has not been easy and will not be in the future. But then who said being a Christian would be easy.

Lazy!

Exodus 5:17 

    But Pharaoh said, "Lazy! That's what you are! Lazy! That's why you whine, 'Let us go so we can worship God.' 

I was looking on the websites I check on a regular basis when I can across this site and this verse. Please visit the second link and read the cometary there as it is part of the inspiration for this post.

God leaves nothing to chance, He has His plans and He works His miracles in our lives to show His power and to guide us to Him. His signs are often easy to miss when we are far from Him and do not want to look, but as soon as we start craving to know His plans He can reveal them to us. 

But what happens when we have seen the path He wants us to walk and then we momentarily take our eyes off the goal. God sends us a wake up call, He gently points us back in the right direction. This is the place where I am right now, I am certain I know the path God wants me to walk and because of that I have allowed myself to go off the boil. I have become comfortable with the idea and I have kind of sat back. It is as if now that I know where I should be going it's ok, I can sit here for a while and start when I am ready. Except I am not doing what I need to do to make myself ready. I have become lazy and have started to enjoy the place where I am.

And then God sends me this verse, specifically; "Lazy! That's what you are! Lazy!". I know that I am doing good things in my life right now, but they are just temporary measures so that I can survive in the world. I know what I should be doing, what preparations I should be making and as yet I am not. I am sure the work I am doing is part of God's larger plan, but it is not God's plan for my life, there is more I must do and I need to begin the process of getting there. 

I am enjoying the life I am leading at the moment, enjoying being at my home Church, working in a Christian environment and life is going well for the first time in years. But I am becoming comfortable with life as it is, becoming comfortable as a Christian. If there is one thing I have learned in my short life as a Christian it is that we work best when pushed out of our comfort zones, when we are pushing against the boundaries to do God's work. Being a Christian should not be easy, it should not be pleasant and we should expect to receive the worst from the world. But from this God will bring joy and peace to our lives and we will be rewarded when we finally meet our Lord in Heaven.