All that I am

People may know that I am currently in a running battle with my Dad about me choosing to take a wild change in career to follow what I believe God is calling me to do. Because of this we are both looking for opportunities to push our points home and win small victories. This weekend I score a victory in the mission to win my Dad over to my point of view.

It was when the choir in our Church sang a song called All that I am;

(Chorus)
All that I am,
All I can be,
All that I have,
All that is me,
Accept and use Lord,
As You would choose Lord,
Right now today.


Take every Passion,
Take every skill,
Take all my dreams,
And bend them to your will,
My all I give Lord,
For You I live Lord,
Come what may.


(Verse)
Often I come with my problems and cares,
Running to you when distressed,
But I must give You the whole of my life,
Lord I must give You my best.


(Chorus)

(Verse)

Life has no purpose unless it is yours,

Life without you has no goal,

All that fulfils me is doing your will,

Knowing that Your in control.

(Chorus)

                             (William Himes)

I don't know how many people outside of the Salvation Army will have heard this song, but it is one of my favourites and is possibly one of the most beautiful songs I have ever had the privilege of singing or listening to. There is a beautiful but tragic story behind the song which has caused there to be a haunting melody to this song which in my opinion makes it even more powerful as for me I feel that you can sense the presence of God within it. The composer wrote this song as his wife was dying of cancer as a way to help himself cope and try to make sense of what was happening in his life and the loss he was preparing for. I think it speaks volumes for the faith of William Himes that he was able to write such a powerful song about serving God in such a dark time.

There are two lines in particular which resonate deeply within me every time I sing or hear these words and I have highlighted them above. "But I must give You the whole of my life, Lord I must give you my best". The reason these words resonate with me and why they have helped in the disagreement with my Dad about the direction my life is taking is that I have a couple of options with what to do with my life. 

On the one hand I could go out in to the world and continue in the career I have begun and become a wealthy and potentially a well known scientist. With this route comes security and a clear direction and progression into the future, I would be in control of my life and would be able to support my family so that they would have no worries in life any more. 

The other is to follow a calling which is only getting stronger the more I think about and consider it. In following the direction I believe God is calling me would require turning away from 8 years of education, a significant financial investment and any control over where my life would lead. In this option I would go where I was sent, when I was sent and would earn only a tiny fraction of what I could following the other option.

However God keeps teaching me that money is not important and that when I need it the financial aspect of things will be taken care of. He keeps showing me time and again that if only I trust in Him he will make sure that I want for and need nothing. Also if I am to give God the whole of my life and my best then surely I must give Him them now.

My Dad's argument is not that I should not follow God's calling, but that I should go and work in science for a few years, earn and save a decent chunk of money and then follow God's calling. And while on the surface of it this sounds sensible, it is not following what God is saying, it is not giving my all and my best and it surely is not relying on God to provide all things as He has promised. It may be hard, it will surely be a challenge but I know that if I trust in Him I will make it through, if I trust on His goodness and Grace there will be nothing too big to get through. Hopefully through my actions and faith my Dad can learn that he does not need to do everything on His own and that trusting in God is a more viable option than relying on oneself. 

A new direction of study

Today I have made a firm decision about one of the things I need to do in the near future. After some discussion with my brother and sister-in-law I have decided about which course I will study next. I always knew it was going to be a big change from the courses I have studied in the past. As a qualified physicist I have spent over 8 years working towards various qualifications to follow the dream I have had since childhood to be a scientist. Recently though with various things changing in my life and rediscovering my faith the plans for my life have changed too.

Having decided to follow God's plans in my life a lot has changed recently including my desire to follow the path I have been walking all my life so far. So since science is no longer at the core of my life the way that it has been in the past and I am now placing God there I want to learn more and know more about this new path I am heading down. As I am an academic and very keen on learning an academic route is a good place for me to start and so a Biblical academic course is where I feel I should be heading in the short term.

The course I have settled on as being best is a Biblical course on the Old Testament. The reason that we decided that studying the Old Testament would be best is because I do not have a huge knowledge of it compared to my knowledge of the New Testament. I will be sending my application forms off tomorrow and look forward to hearing about when I can begin studying again. As an academic I love studying and find learning to be exciting and fun. I pray that with this new direction in my studying I will be able to grow as a Christian and learn more about the faith I am a part of. Most of all I pray that this new direction will help the relationship I have with God.

This is the day

This is the day, so was yesterday, and tomorrow will be too.

Psalm 118:24 (KJV)
    This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. 

Is it not amazing that God made all of this for us? Everything you can see, everything you can't see and so much more than that. While at university I had the good fortune to learn about the realities of the universe in which we live, how it is constructed and how it works. Let me tell you it is an amazing and wonderful creation. Christians should not be afraid of science, we should embrace it as a way of looking at our Lord's fantastic creation.

God designed and made everything from the finally balanced dance of an electron around an atomic nucleus, to the fusion processes that power stars. He set the galaxies spinning and He tuned the atomic forces. Everything from the tiniest quantum process up to galactic super clusters are in his design. Why should science have a monopoly on such wonders.

Can we be so closed minded as to say, "Oh no God couldn't possibly work like that!". God reminds us in Isaiah 55:

Isaiah 55:8-9
        "I don't think the way you think.
            The way you work isn't the way I work."
                God's Decree. 
        "For as the sky soars high above earth,
            so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
            and the way I think is beyond the way you think." 

We may not be able to understand God's reasoning or God's plans. We may not even be able to understand creation in the end. But God made us like Him:

Genesis 1:26-27
        God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them
            reflecting our nature
        So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
            the birds in the air, the cattle,
        And, yes, Earth itself,
            and every animal that moves on the face of Earth." 
        God created human beings;
            he created them godlike,
        Reflecting God's nature.
            He created them male and female. 

We were made in God's image reflecting His nature.God created us Godlike reflecting His nature. Our curiosity is built in to us, we have had since Adam and Eve a thirst for knowledge, a desire to know more about the world God gave us.

Why should we be in conflict with, or afraid of science? As a scientist and a Christian I have yet to find a real conflict between the two. People talk of the age of the earth or evolution as being incompatible with Christianity. Let me point out two things, in the beginning a day would be whatever God defined it to be as a 24 hour day is a product of the spin of the Earth. 7 days in Genesis refers not to 7x24 hours but 7 distinct periods of time. And as for evolution, who are we to tell God how he can do things, who are we to dictate His methods. Look back at Isaiah 55:

        "I don't think the way you think.
            The way you work isn't the way I work."

God gave us the intelligence to see the world and learn about it, He gave us the ability to understand at least a part of it. Why can we not take this knowledge and say "What a mighty God have I" why do we insist on telling God, "No you can't do it that way".

Psalm 118:24 (KJV)

    This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. 

This is not just the day the Lord has made, it is the world and the universe that Lord has made. Look on it and be amazed, it was by the same hands that were sacrificed and bled that it was made. If we can learn even a small part about it and realise the power our God has, why fight against it. We need to get out of this point of view that science and religion are incompatible. We are taught in the Bible that God made everything and told the story of why, science is just our way of learning some of the hows. Look to science and be amazed, because we have a God who is greater than that, he designed and built it all and understood it all from the very beginning. Do not be scared or offended by science, remember that our God was the first scientist, and will be the last. For He is the alpha and the omega, the creator of it all and He will be there at the end of it all to welcome us into eternity with Him.

My new blog

Coming soon to a computer near you. Ok recently I watched a TV show about Intelligent Design vs Science that really bugged me. I watched it in preparation for the first proper post on my God's Scientist Blog. What really gets to me is that so many supposedly "intelligent" people repeatedly make the mistake of lumping all Christians together or all religions together. Yes there are fundamentalists, yes they do believe ridiculous things but that does not mean we all believe them. The trouble is that the ones with the loudest voices tend to be the crazy people who shout the most. And this is true for scientists too, yes there is scientific fundamentalism too. I'm not talking about the quest for the ultimate theory of everything or the search for the fundamental forces and particles that make up the Universe. What I am talking about is a group of people every bit the same as those they claim to be fighting against. Scientists by their nature should be open minded regarding anything that has not or can not be disproved. I hope to post the completed post on this on my other blog soon, it has taken some time and will take a bit more but I want to do it properly and make sure it is researched fully. I will inform you as to when the post has been uploaded. We need to fight this battle on both fronts, we can not let the secular world silence us. But equally we can not let the fundamentalist Christians win either. We have a duty to fight the Enemy however he chooses to manifest himself. Neither of these view points is constructive to anyone and neither is going to help expand God's kingdom here on Earth.


1 Peter 2:15
    It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society.

Job Interview

Well things are a little bit different today than I was expecting. A job interview I was going for tomorrow has been changed to today. The job in itself is not a huge deal, it is something I am over qualified for, will find fairly easy to do and in an environment I have been around since I was a child. Yet it is the significance of the change that is having the bigger impact on me. A number of my friends have also been looking for jobs, and to be honest I have been quite lazy and off putting when it came to actually looking. One of my favourite lines for my friends finding it difficult to get a job was "do you expect God to just send you a job offer in the post?" I mean sure if He wanted to that would not be beyond His power, but God doesn't work like that, he wants us to learn on our journey with Him and uses many opportunities to teach us. If we want a job sure we should pray for one but we should get out there looking for it too. Yet this job did appear from nowhere for me, at first I was told by my minister to apply for it, but then I went away for a music festival and didn't get round to it. Then when she asked if I had applied and told her no, she said it was ok since I already had an interview for it if I turned up. So now after not looking for a job, and then not applying for a job I have a job interview this afternoon. As I said the possible change in direction is really what is significant for me, I have spent the last 6 or 7 years at least working hard and getting the qualifications to become a scientist. I have been pushing myself hard in my studies in order to be the best at what I do. Yet this job is in a Church working with the community where my skills as a scientist will almost certainly not be required. I have been asking for help in deciding what direction I should be taking my life in, where I should be going to follow God's path for me. Is this the answer? Should I abandon years of work and qualifications? Well its in God's hands now, last night I prayed that he would help me in my choice, if I do not get offered the job my path lies in being a scientist, however if I am offered the job my path lies down another road. Shortly after this I was checking on my blog page and noticed the Bible quote of the day which was;

Joshua 3:5 – Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things

I am not sure what these amazing things will be but I am confident that whatever they are they will be the best for me.

Why?

As a child this was both my favourite question and most effective tool at school. It did get me into some hot water at times for overusing it to the point where the adult in questions knowledge on the subject ended and my "whys" continued. It was the love of this question which drove me to follow the career path that I have in becoming a scientist. The drive to understand as much of the universe as I can has propelled me to study and grasp at the enormity of creation. I see the stars and I want to know why they are there, why they burn so long how they stay up. I look at a bird and want to know why it flies, why it is the way it is. Almost everything in life still provokes the question why in me. Even the knowledge I have propels me to ask why that is the case, is there more I can know, is there something I have missed so far. It is an absolute thirst for knowledge and understanding, I have to know the answers. In this quest I have become knowledgeable in a number of subjects ranging from quantum chromodynamics to philosophy. And yet through all of this there was one thing missing. I spent years studying creation looking for answers, years scrabbling round in the dark trying to find the theory behind the practical. It wasn't until I "rediscovered" God last year that I started a new why quest, a new path of knowledge to follow. In coming to know God I saw that all the knowledge the world had to offer was great, but there could be no true understanding of it unless there was a knowledge of the guy who created it all and his reasons for doing so. I don't claim to know the mind of God or even have a tiny glimpse of his reasons for creation. However as I have been coming to a closer knowledge of God my past studies and knowledge have been illuminated with a new light. God has given us an amazing universe in which to live, a fabulous amazing place. It is a wonder to behold, there are many amazing sights and experiences on Earth, and yet he also created a fantastically intricate and beautiful universe to situate it in. God has provided us with all of this, and he also gave us the curiosity and ability to look at his creation and begin to understand it. Despite the observable disputes between science and religion there is much we can learn from each other. As the late, great Albert Einstein said; "A legitimate conflict between science and religion cannot exist. Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

Blogtastic

Ok guys, I have touched on the fact that as well as being a Christian I am also a scientist. For a number of people this is an issue, and it is one I have been fighting against for years. I personally do not see the issue with studying Gods creation to understand it over studying God's creation to understand it. Both science and religion have so much to offer us it is stupid to shut down one or the other. There is much that I could write on this subject and much I have wanted to write about on here. I do not however want this blog to turn into a battle ground for fundamentalist creationist Christians or actively atheist scientists and so I have decided to begin a second blog. It is not up and running yet but hopefully will be soon. I do not intend for this second blog to effect the amount or regularity of this blog. But I do feel there is a need for me to express my beliefs as a Christian in a scientific way which is likely to attract a different audience. The posts on my new blog will likely be a lot less frequent but significantly more in depth or at least longer. If you are interested in taking a look I will let you know when I have it up and running. I would ask however that as I plan to enter what may become a battlefield with me trapped between both forces that you would pray for me and this endeavour.

Matthew 22:37 Jesus said, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence."

1 Corinthians 14:20 Only mature and well-exercised intelligence can save you from falling into gullibility.

1 Peter 2:15 It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society.

Science and Jesus are my passions in life and following them both is what I must do as both are in my eyes God given and God inspired. I don't know how this second blog will be used but if it can even in a small way fight the ignorance that is building up in this world then at least I have done something. Fundamentalism on either side helps no one, and it was Christ himself that taught us that it i not the healthy who require a doctor.


Mark 2:17 Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit."

God is a Quark

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine recently about the Trinity. This was sparked by a slightly flip conversation with a number of friends as to how many seats would God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit require on a roller coaster. During this conversation I realised that my studies into subnuclear physics and quantum chromodynamics could provide a brilliant explanation of the Trinity. Now I understand that not everyone will understand this in the same way but hopefully it will help give some insight into this subject. But here is the description I used; God is a quark, he comes in three forms, one cannot exist with out the other two but all 3 are unique and distinguishable, they act in different ways but are also all the same. Any questions just comment below. 

Two books

A friend of mine who is a physics lecturer has a great challenge he uses on his students. As most scientists (especially physicists) are active atheists professing Christians are not very common. My friend however sees it as his duty to speak out where he can. The challenge he uses is that at the start of every lecture course he holds up two books. The first is a copy of the Feynmann lectures and the second is his Bible. He then issues the challenge to any student present to tell him the difference between the two books. Most comment on how the Feynmann lectures are a comprehensive guide to the universe and its complex workings while the Bible is an old mythical text when perpetuates a outdated mode of thinking and lifestyle. His response was one of the greatest things I heard as a physics undergraduate. It goes something like this; Both these books tell us the fundamental truth about our existence. However they do so in different ways, one tells us how the system works, how the structure is built and the rules that hold it all together. The other teaches us about our place in this system and how to live in it together. As I have mentioned before I do not believe there is a conflict between science and religion, only its "followers". Once we learn to understand that neither takes away from the other but can actually add to our understanding we will be better off. Until the we must rely on people like my friend fighting in and lighting his small corner and we must do the same in our own.

Intelligence and knowledge

Kind of in the same vein as yesterday and the science vrs religion debate (that one is not over yet). But how should we deal with the question of intelligence, knowledge and the understanding of the world. Is there a line which we should draw at which point we say ok, no more, this is beyond us and for God alone. Are there areas of knowledge we are not supposed to know or routes we should not go down, intellectually speaking. Again hailing back to yesterday. should we put science to bed as knowledge God never intended for us? In my opinion the answer is a resounding NO. Curiosity is a part of being human and as such we believe to be a gift from God. We read in the Bible that we were made in God's image and he is please with us, with the exception of sin. There is the whole of creation out there, bigger than we can imagine. As Douglas Adams said "Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long walk down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.". As a scientist I  work on a daily basis with mind boggling facts about this amazing creation God has made for us and I can not imagine he does not want us to wonder, marvel and then strive to understand what he created. We may never get to that point of understanding but surely to understand even part of God's creation is a good thing. In 1 Corinthians 12:2 it says; God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can. I believe that this is as much a call to study the universe as it is to study God's word.

Science and religion

I am right in the middle of this battle on a daily basis. I am a trained scientist, my specialities are in Quantum, Nuclear and Subnuclear Physics. So as you can imagine I come across the science religion debate a lot. In a department of about 400 I am 1 of only about 40 religious people and only 1 of 2 Christians. Most of the religious academics in my department are Muslim and as such no one really says anything for the fear of offending. However as a Christian I am seen as fair game, where as Islam is viewed as cultural Christianity is viewed as an emotional support for unintelligent people. Personally the biggest problem I have with this debate is not that science and religion are incompatible. The issue is that we have reached a point where both sides are so entrenched that neither can easily move, or for that matter see above the parapet. As I am in a privileged position of being able to see both sides I have the opportunity to fight the battle on both fronts. Day by day while working I have the chance to show my fellow scientists that being a Christian does not stop me being exceptional at my job. It also lets me use unique opportunities to describe my faith in a way other Christians would not get. On the other front my example can show fellow Christians that science is not the enemy. Science is as God given as religion is, through science we can see the sheer awesomeness of our God and his wonderful creation. I think that this is enough on the subject for now but I do intend to post further on this debate as I feel it is wasting valuable time in both camps fighting a war that makes no sense since we both agree on so much. Until next time.