Trusting in the Big Guy

My life is quite random, I very rarely plan things and often don't know what I will be doing one day to the next. It has been like this for years and is working out quite well for me right now. I have managed this mainly due to my "everything will be right, and if not I'll sort it then" attitude. I have just kind of fallen from one thing to the next with any decisions being made on the fly by gut instinct. I know God has his guiding hand in life and has his plan, but it seems that my life has been shaped more by recklessness than anything else. And now that I find myself trying to follow his plan I am struggling to head in that direction and trust that things will be fine. I know in my heart of hearts that the plans will work and that everything will work out in the way His plans are laid. Yet I find myself resisting, over thinking and avoiding them. In the past I have always relied on my ability to charm myself out of any situation and my intelligence to fix any problems as they arise. This next stage in my life I know I can not complete as I am, there must be changes in my life. But I am scared to do what needs to be done. We are taught that God will never let us down, that when we can not walk he will carry us, but why is it so hard to actually have faith in this. The Bible says that faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains, if that is the case I am embarrassed at how small my faith must seem right now.