This blog is supposed to be, as much as I can, my daily journey through life as a Christian. I hope it to be my thoughts and feelings on life but be as grounded in the Christian message as it can. My intention is not to create a daily readings or bible study guide but to look at my life in terms of a Christian trying to find and follow God's mission using his Life User's Manuel AKA the Bible.

Matthew 10 19-20

And don't you worry about what you'll say or how you'll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words. - Matthew 10 19-20

Friday, February 25, 2011

Am I growing up?

I have often prided myself on the fact that I have a real childish streak running though me, I do crazy things, I live a life without a care and love to be silly at every opportunity. But recently I have been noticing that I am not only growing up but also wanting to grow up. It is not that I want to get rid of my childish side as it brings a lot of fun into my life but I am beginning to feel that I want to be a little more grown up at times.

The example that has made this most clear in my head occurred today while I was taking care of my Godson. I have not spent much time looking after him on my own until recently but now he is a year old and is a little easier to take care of than a tiny baby I have been entrusted with him. Today while I had him I took him to the garden centre to go look at the pet store they have there and see all of the animals there. We had so much fun and the pair of us laughed and made a lot of noise and the pair of us thoroughly enjoyed the time there.

While I was there I realised that I was enjoying this time more than I ever thought I would and started to think that I could actually fancy a child of my own at some point. This is something huge for me as anyone who knows me will have no doubt heard me say at some point that I hate kids, really hate kids. This phrase has been one that I have used many many times in my life and something that I honestly believed for the whole time I have been saying so. But as I have been looking to my future, my career and where God and I want my life to go certain things have been changing.

I have always been someone who has wanted to globe trot and not put down roots anywhere, I wanted to always be someone who was able to travel the world and go where I wanted when I wanted. But now I am starting to realise that while there will be a certain amount of this in my life as I see God directing it I want a certain amount of settlement in my life. I want to have a home, a partner and now I am starting to realise that I would quite like a family too. I think this has come from the fact that without any intention of doing so I have managed to make myself a home. It is nowhere near where I grew up, away from my family, but it is the place where I feel happiest, where I feel comfortable and where I am surrounded by friends.

It is amazing how people can change over a short period of time, how much people change as they live their lives. But what is more amazing is how much and how quickly God can change someone from the inside out, how God can change the very essence of someone to make them into the very best thing they can be. I thank God for what my life is becoming and for the amazing changes he has helped me make in my life. Who knows where God will lead me in the future and what He will do with my life but after having seen what He has done so far I am excited to see where it will end up.

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