25 years and counting

So today is my birthday, not normally something I celebrate much or really bother with but I think adding an extra year on is a good time to take stock and look back on the last year. So here is a quick summary.

Work:
In this area of my life I have been quite successful, just less than a year ago I made the transition into working in social care from my previous life as a scientist. This went very well and the training post I was in taught me a lot in a short space of time. I met some fantastic people who began to equip me with the skills I need to follow my calling. Then in March I moved jobs and cities to begin working with a small charity that helps street addicts and street homeless which is something I feel very strongly about. In the 5 months I have been there I have grown in knowledge and understanding of the sector and also gained many skills that will be invaluable to me in the future.

Home:
This time last year I was living at home for the first time in 6 years and it was not ideal. However it did put me close to my family and allow me to spend time with them, especially my Godson. But with the new job came a move to a new city and while for a short time my housing situation was not good, i.e. technically homeless, I am now living with one of my best friends in a lovely apartment and beginning to9 settle in quite nicely.

Church:
Now this area of my life has been quite rocky. I made a commitment to God and my Church over a year ago but due to various reasons this has still to progress further than just talking about it. Because I moved cities and have had to move Churches the process of me applying to become a minister has taken about 20 steps back. However as of this week I am now officially a member of my new congregation and looking forward to things moving forward again. I miss the Church I grew up in but feel that moving to a new city and a new Church with everything tht is going on will in the long run be the best for my spiritual growth.

Spiritual life:
Now probably the most important aspect of my life. Sadly I have not taken care of this aspect of my life quite as well as I have of the others. With everything that has gone on of late setting aside time to be with God has not been easy and at times I am sad to admit not been a priority. This has had an adverse affect on some areas of my life and I have really struggled at times. There have been some dark days which would have been so much brighter if I had not been neglecting my spiritual life. I am now making an effort to change this, I have seen it as a problem and have begun to make it more of a priority.

Blog:
As many of you are likely to know I took quite a long unplanned hiatus in blogging. I did the thing I hate other people doing and just disappeared from the blogosphere with no warning. There are reasons for this, mostly to do with the stresses of moving city and starting a new job but with some extra unneeded stresses from people who were supposed to be there to help me. I am now back on track even if I am not posting with the same regularity and quantity of the past. I am still trying to work out what I want this to be going forward but after my break I have rediscovered my passion for sharing whatever is on my mind with you guys, hope someone is finding it interesting in some way.

So that is a rough summary of most of my life in the last year, there have been a few other things going on but that about covers most of it. I am now off to enjoy my birthday by relaxing and taking it easy, after 25 years of trying I might finally get the quiet and relaxing birthday I have always desired.

I must be growing up

I have had a fantastic day. Normally me and my older brother do not get along that well, but today we spent hours together without a bad word said and thoroughly enjoyed every minute. So what was it that has made such a difference, well it is another symptom of my wanting to settle and grow up. This morning our Church had a coffee morning and my extended family were sat around and we were discussing my possible new job. Part of this discussion was that I will need a car for this job and I have been talking with my parents about the possibility of buying a new one. And so today I have been out looking at cars and test driving them with my brother.

We looked at a number of cars at a number of different dealers and talked a lot about the practicalities and needs compared to what is available and within the price range. It so happens that my brother is also buying a new car as well and we have been discussing the pros and cons of various cars that are available. As it turns out we may end up settling on buying cars from the same dealer and manufacturer but that is mainly to do with the fact that we both want a good car and don't want to pay a huge amount for it if we don't have too.

Although my life is in a state of flux and I am still really only in the early stages of sorting my life out after the mess I made of it during my teens and early twenties. But as I said yesterday it is amazing how much God can change someone's life and outlook in such a short space of time. I hope that this is a good sign towards my brother and I can sort things out and stop the continual infighting that there has been for the last twenty odd years. God moves in mysterious ways, I am glad He chose to work through the process of buying a car today as not only has it helped in my relationship with my brother but it was a huge amount of fun too.

Am I growing up?

I have often prided myself on the fact that I have a real childish streak running though me, I do crazy things, I live a life without a care and love to be silly at every opportunity. But recently I have been noticing that I am not only growing up but also wanting to grow up. It is not that I want to get rid of my childish side as it brings a lot of fun into my life but I am beginning to feel that I want to be a little more grown up at times.

The example that has made this most clear in my head occurred today while I was taking care of my Godson. I have not spent much time looking after him on my own until recently but now he is a year old and is a little easier to take care of than a tiny baby I have been entrusted with him. Today while I had him I took him to the garden centre to go look at the pet store they have there and see all of the animals there. We had so much fun and the pair of us laughed and made a lot of noise and the pair of us thoroughly enjoyed the time there.

While I was there I realised that I was enjoying this time more than I ever thought I would and started to think that I could actually fancy a child of my own at some point. This is something huge for me as anyone who knows me will have no doubt heard me say at some point that I hate kids, really hate kids. This phrase has been one that I have used many many times in my life and something that I honestly believed for the whole time I have been saying so. But as I have been looking to my future, my career and where God and I want my life to go certain things have been changing.

I have always been someone who has wanted to globe trot and not put down roots anywhere, I wanted to always be someone who was able to travel the world and go where I wanted when I wanted. But now I am starting to realise that while there will be a certain amount of this in my life as I see God directing it I want a certain amount of settlement in my life. I want to have a home, a partner and now I am starting to realise that I would quite like a family too. I think this has come from the fact that without any intention of doing so I have managed to make myself a home. It is nowhere near where I grew up, away from my family, but it is the place where I feel happiest, where I feel comfortable and where I am surrounded by friends.

It is amazing how people can change over a short period of time, how much people change as they live their lives. But what is more amazing is how much and how quickly God can change someone from the inside out, how God can change the very essence of someone to make them into the very best thing they can be. I thank God for what my life is becoming and for the amazing changes he has helped me make in my life. Who knows where God will lead me in the future and what He will do with my life but after having seen what He has done so far I am excited to see where it will end up.

God knows what He is doing

My parents have a habit which drives me to absolute insanity, they are both unashamed channel hoppers. You can be watching something and then out of nowhere they will skip through hundreds of channels, then decide there is nothing on, announce that TV is rubbish and turn it back to the channel you were watching just in time to catch the credits, gee thanks Mam and Dad.

But the other day when my mum did this she landed on a TV show I have never watched called Touched by and Angel. As I said I have never seen this show before and have no desire to ever watch it in the future. However the one sentence of the show I did hear did catch my attention.

"God always knows what He is doing, sometimes that is the hardest part to accept"
               Monica Touched by an angel

I was struck at how true this statement is. As Christians we should all accept that God has a plan and He knows exactly what it is that He is doing. His plan is the Master Plan, a plan to end all plans and the only one that is sure to work. It is a perfect plan that we should accept without question, but its not that easy is it?

We are human, we have doubts and because we are not perfect and know it we can sometimes struggle to understand a plan that has no flaws, that unlike us is perfect. As the quote says accepting that this plan is perfect and God does know what He is doing is often hard to accept. Things happen in our lives that we struggle to understand, that we can not see how they fit into the plan. Yet fit into the plan they do and it is not our place to question how or why.

God always knows what he is doing. Accept that and follow his plans and you will find yourself not living an easy life but certainly living a truly blessed life.

Amazed by nature

My family think I am stupid at times, despite the qualifications and the higher level education they think some of the questions I ask are just plain daft. And I would be willing to admit that on the surface they appear to be, but on further though I think not. An example of one of these questions is;

"Why don't rivers run out of water?"

I know that in some places with little rain fall they do, but in the UK where I live we get a lot of rain and our rivers do not run dry, at least not often. The thing is when you think of the amount of water needed to fill the river, and then the speed the river flows at it is a phenomenal amount of water.

And it is not just questions like this, even things I understand and have quite a high level of knowledge on such as fluid dynamics AKA wind I am still amazed by. How can something as insubstantial as air, something invisible be the cause of so much destruction? How can it be so forceful and powerful? Like I say I understand the answers to this question but I am still constantly amazed and awed by nature.

There is a song that is sung by the choir at my Church and at the moment I can not remember enough about it to find the lyrics. The whole song in my memory and defiantly the lines I remember speak of God's awesomeness and the power of the nature He controls;

The mighty oceans thunder His awe inspiring name,

The breakers crash are roar with joy as they claim His victory,

I wish I knew more of the song to share with you, if anyone does know it let me know as I am sure there is a whole post in that song. 

The thing is that God is an awesome God, He is powerful and the things He does and the things He has made will always surpass our understanding, even if we think we know all we need about them. There are so many things in this world that we just take for granted, so many things that should blow our minds to the point where we would get almost nothing done. But we have made them into mundane things not to worry or think about in order that we do not get distracted. I think that at times we all need to take time out to go and be overwhelmed by God's awesomeness through nature and the universe. His whole creation is so fantastic that we can not dwell on it every day otherwise we would never be able to do His work. But from time to time go out and experience this wonderful world He has made for us and allow your mind to be awed by the beauty and scope of His work. 

The fruits of the spirit - II

Galatians 5:22-23

     But the fruit of the Spirit is 

                 love,

                 joy, 

                 peace, 

                 patience, 

                 kindness, 

                 goodness, 

                 faithfulness, 

                 gentleness 

                            and self-control. 

Against such things there is no law.

This mornings post was on the fruits of the Spirit, since then I have had some time to think about these fruits and what they mean. It has almost become a topic that has become an obsession with the song that has been in my head through to God giving me direction to write this second post today. It has been one of those days where God has decided to be unsubtle, there have been many and frequent signs of fruit today and many situations where the fruits have been needed but also been shown through others. This has come in the form of the six crates of bananas and 12 cases of cherries at work meaning everyone I have seen at work has been carrying fruit, to the man at the museum today showing patience and kindness towards the residents I took along for a day out.

I am not sure where I read it, but recently I read a blog post about the fruits. In this post the writer talked about how people who have the Spirit within them will naturally begin to produce and display fruits. When I read this and while writing my two posts on the fruit of the Spirit I have gone through the list and thought about which of the fruits I posses.

The first one on the list is one that I struggle with at the moment, I know that there are people that I do love, I love all my family and friends, I love my Godson more than anyone or any thing. But there are things I struggle with in love, I struggle with romantic love since my last big relationship and I still struggle to have love for all fellow man at times. However I am getting better at this and since I took on my job with the homeless I have found that I am finding myself with more understanding for my fellow man.

Joy is something that I have never struggled with, even in my darkest days and toughest times I have never struggled with being joyful. I have always been able to see the good in my life and enjoy my life.

Peace and patience for me come as a pair. In my family I am often the one who needs patience and by having it manage to keep the peace. Patience is something that I have developed in my life and I know that when very stressed it sometimes goes out the window but it is something I have developed over the years. Keeping the peace is also something I have had to work on in both my family and work life and something I have found is an ability that is growing in time.

Another pair for me is kindness and goodness. Being kind and good is something that all Christians really should be, it is something the world expects us to be. Being kind and good is something that everyone who has heard of Him knows Christ was. I have tried always to be kind and good but have at times struggled to be at all times. There are situations in life that have and do drive me mad and cause me to be anything but good and kind, but again I do try.

Faithfulness is something I definitely do not struggle with, I believe myself to be a very faithful person who is willing to do anything I can for the people I love. With the exception of the time I ran away from God and the Church I can not think of a single time when I could have been classed as unfaithful.

Gentleness is another trait that I feel that I do posses. I love animals and have had many many pets in my life, many of which were small animals and require very gentle handling. Also I do have a very gentle side to my personality, however it is often hidden from general view and people often do not see it until I allow them to become quite close. So I guess this is a trait I have but need to so some real work on.

The last trait in the list is self control. Now until a year ago I would say that I really struggled with this last trait. I have in the past had many problems with doing things on impulse and an inability to say no to things that I really want, and at times just things that it was possible to have. This has led to many negative impacts on my life, however since I became a Christian, since I truly became a Christian this is something I have found easier to keep on top of, I guess in a simple way, I have developed self-control.

Without trying to sound big headed I feel that I certainly display at least some of the fruits of the Spirit. I feel that it is something that as I am growing in the faith the fruits that I am displaying are also growing, which for me is a fantastic sign that I am truly growing in the spirit. I think it is a good thing that we all sit down and consider how we are doing in the faith, if we are growing fruits for the Lord. I would encourage you all to look at the list and consider are you growing fruits, if not, is there something you can do, if you are can you possibly grow more?

Read the Salvationist

This week the challenge in the Soldier's Challenge was a fairly easy one and one that is not particularly easy to write that much about. The task was to read The Salvation Army's weekly publication for members of the Church called the Salvationist.

Most of this weeks issue is taken up with bits and pieces about the High Council, the election of the next General of The Salvation Army. Most of this is probably not of much interest to anyone outside The Salvation Army, and to be honest I struggled to stay interested in some of the articles myself. I don't normally read the Salvationist, normally relying on my friends and family to let me know if there is an interesting article and finding most of the news about The Salvation Army on the grapevine at work (a Salvation Army Hostel) or at Church through the officers (the ministers).

Well that is pretty much all that I can say for this task. So the task which I am going to complete this week is to sing a Christian song in the shower. So that is all for now, hope you all have a God filled week and check back next week to find out how the task goes this week.

Making music

Last year my Gramma was promoted to glory. After she passed away we were informed that we had been left a significant sum of money. I was not sure what I was going to do with my inheritance until my little brother suggested that we buy ourselves our own personal brass instruments instead of using ones provided by the band we play in. As soon as it was suggested I knew that it was a great idea and started looking for the right instrument for me.

I finally received the instrument above on the 23rd of December after waiting 2 months for a hand built personalised cornet. Since then I have spent many hours practising and playing this beautiful instrument and enjoying every minute of it.

I talked to my Mum about spending my inheritance from her Mum on an instrument, what she thought and how my Gramma would have seen the investment. The reply I received was that my Gramma would have been over the moon that I was using the money she had left for me to purchase something I would use every week and something I would use every Sunday in worship at our Church.

This instrument is a beautiful thing, not only does it look amazing and have so many special meanings for me, from the tigers eye in the valve tops in memory of my Grandad and the message engraved on it saying;

live, laugh, love,

From Gramma

This instrument also produces an amazing sound and is simply said the best instrument I have ever played. The quality of the instrument is such that it makes me sound like a much better player than I actually am. This is a fantastic thing because it allows me to play this instrument in worship every week in thanks and celebration of God. Although God does not mind the quality of the music we play if our hearts are in the right place and we are doing it for the right reason. But for me, if I am going to be worshipping God I want to do so in the best way I can and produce the best music that I can. 

Today was the first time in many many years that I have had a music lesson, normally I practice and learn on my own in my own time. However now I have my own instrument I am determined to play it as well as I possibly can. If I could ask that you all pray for me and my progress in this new endeavour to be the best brass musician that I can be so that I can use this gift to worship God who has given me this gift, thank you.

Donate your unused clothes to charity

This week in the Soldier's Challenge the task was to donate my unused clothes to charity. I have wanted to get rid of a lot of clothes that I have little or no use for any more for quite some time. With everything that has happened in the past I have moved a number of times and not been in the right frame of mind to sort through the boxed memories of the past. So to be honest this task has been needed for quite some time, and it has taken this push to get on and actually do it.

So at the beginning of the week I began sorting through the boxes and bags of clothes and everything else from when I first moved out on my own nearly 2 years ago. I decided that as I was sorting out the clothes I may as well sort through everything else and donate everything I no longer want or use. I managed to go through and sort out many boxes and bags and now have four large bags of clothes and 3 boxes of household things to be donated.

There is one small failure to this task however, although I have gone through and sorted out all the things I am going to donate I have yet to actually take the things to the charity shop. The main reason for this is that I have been away this week and have not had a chance to get to the shop since I have got back. I will be however going along this week as my spell of cleaning and sorting has encouraged my parents to do the same and I will be taking along a number of things that they will be sending along to the shop too. So although there is a small amount of failure, in this failure has come the benefit of the shop getting the things from my parents too.

So this week, as well as taking these bags and boxes to the charity shop I have another task to complete. The task this week is to read the Salvationist, the weekly publication produced by The Salvation Army for the members of its Church. This should be a nice easy one to do this week and as usual I will be letting you know how it goes next week so please check back then, until then, have a great God filled week.

Hiking, climbing and the great outdoors

One of the things I have always enjoyed doing since I was a little child is to go exploring in the countryside. To pack a bag and just set out walking somewhere I have never been before and with only the basics to survive. One of my favourites is to not just spend a day exploring but to spend the night out in the wild with only the things I absolutely need to survive.

Over the years one of the things I have regularly had to use is my knowledge of foods available in the countryside, what berries I can eat, where to find fresh water and how to navigate when you have lost your map. All these skills I learned from my Grandad (better than Ray Mears) who learned it all when he was a child from his Dad and Grandad who learnt it from.... you get the point. This information has been learned and passed on time and time again in my family right down to me and I am able to survive in many circumstances in which others would find almost impossible.

Now I feel absolutely blessed to have been taught all of this because it gives me opportunities many others do not have. Some of the scenes and vistas I have seen while out hiking are simply breath taking, scenes that when you see them you realise God has an amazing sense of beauty and has created an amazing world for us. Also when you go to the other extreme and pay attention to the very tiny things you realise that God has not only made these huge sweeping landscapes that look amazing, He also paid the most minute detail to the workings of it so that it may stay beautiful too.

Hopefully now that January is almost over and the worst of winter is hopefully gone I am going to be able to get out and do much more exploring and climbing in the coming weeks and months. Being out and isolated in the middle of nowhere but feeling that sense of being completely surrounded by Him and His work is a great feeling. A feeling that is conducive to some of the most amazing prayer times I have ever had, because being completely alone allows me to drop any and all barriers and truly stand there open and honest with God with no distractions, no stray thoughts in the nearest thing to perfect peace I have ever found.

So I am looking forward to getting back out in to the countryside soon, exploring new places and visiting old favourites. Hoping to also spend some more time out on the hills with some friends of mine who have also been known to climb a hill or two (even if it requires a certain amount of encouragement). Here is to a year full of hiking weekends and lots of beautiful mountain top views to share.

Tell me the stories of Jesus

Ever since this morning when I wrote the post about blown minds (if you don't know what I mean check back to this mornings post here) I have had an old song I used to sing when I was a child running back and forward through my head. The song used to be a favourite of the children in my Church and we used to sing it beautifully, well at least we were told we did anyway. The son is one called tell me the stories of Jesus by William H. Parker and Frederick A. Challinor.

Tell me the stories of Jesus I love to hear; 

things I would ask him to tell me if he were here: 

scenes by the wayside, tales of the sea, 

stories of Jesus, tell them to me. 

First let me hear how the children stood round his knee, 

and I shall fancy his blessing resting on me; 

words full of kindness, deeds full of grace, 

all in the lovelight of Jesus' face. 

Into the city I'd follow the children's band, 

waving a branch of the palm tree high in my hand; 

one of his heralds, yes, I would sing 

loudest hosannas, "Jesus is King!"

I know I have said before and there is a good chance that I will say it many more times, I just love these simple songs for Children. The manage to encapsulate such power and wisdom into simple words so that even adults can understand it. I say even adults because when I was thinking about my post this morning I realised that the reason we fail to have our minds blown by these stories is that we have become jaded with our age, we have grown up and these "children's" stories become just that, we end up lumping them in the same group as the fairy stories we were told as children. They are wild and fantastical and as adults we know things like that don't happen. 

Jesus warned us against this sort of thinking and knew that it is only by approaching Him in the same wide eyed wonder as a child does will we be able to fathom at least a small part of what He did and what He represents.

Matthew 18:2-5

     He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

The amazing thing about children is that they are always learning, everything is new and they see the wonder in all things. They have no preconceived notions, they have no baggage which taints their world view and they have no fear of the unknown and the new. Unless we learn to accept Jesus in this fashion, unless we learn to be the children that we are in his eyes then we will never enter the kingdom of Heaven, don't believe me? re read the verses above. 

     “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 

We are and always will be like little children in His eyes, in so many ways except the ones we need to we act like little petulant children. We wine and complain, we ask for things that we don't need and often are bad for us, look to your relationship with God and I will be very surprised if it does not look like that of a parent and a young child. There is nothing wrong with this, this is the way it should be. But if we are trying to play a different role or trying to carve out a different relationship it wont work, it can't work. When you start to see your relationship with God as parent and young child then you begin to see that the ways in which we act, the things that we do all need to change to reflect the relationship. I know that I am as guilty as the next person of this and am only beginning to understand this fact myself. But I am hoping that in the future I am able to allow my mind to be blown my His awesomeness and that I remember that I am just a small child in His eyes, and His view is the only one that is important.

Anglican defection - just another Church squabble

Now I don't want to go into the story in detail, I am sure if you don't already know about the story of three Anglican Bishops being ordained as Catholic Priests a quick web search will bring up the stories for you. What I want to talk about is the way that we view our Churches, The Church and the Body of Christ.

Surely I am not the only one who finds the way that this has been covered and the way people have reacted to it as possibly a little unchristian? I know that we are only human and that means that in anything we do there is going to be flaws in it, and from that comes disagreements and conflict. I also know that people can become offended very easily at times and especially so when religion is involved.

What seems to have been forgotten in this situation is that nothing really has changed. Ok the priests are now in the Catholic communion and not the Anglican communion, but they are human definitions. They still have the same Saviour, they still worship the same God, in all things that are important, i.e. the teachings of Christ, nothing has changed. I am not that naive to think that nothing has changed, certain things will be different and some things will have to change as part of the Church they are now a part of, but these are all human trappings that we have added on. And it is the human side of it that has caused this fracture in the first place, the question of do men have a monopoly on priesthood.

But I am not going to get into that question here, the point I want to make is that we often talk about the Churches. Plural? Are we getting this right? Surely there is no plural in it, surely we are all part of one Church, one Body of Christ. There are different denominations, different worship styles and we have some differing views on some things. But we are all followers of Christ, we are all born again Children of God, why do we insist on drawing lines in the sand, why do we look to our differences and not our similarities.

If you follow the teachings of Christ and accept Him as your Lord and Saviour then you are a part of His Body, a member in His Church. It does not matter which "Church" you belong to as they are all part of the Church of Christ. If you are Catholic, Protestant or Orthodox, if you are one of the many other denominations you are part of something much more than that "Church", you are part of The Church.

If we let divisions like this become big issues then we are setting ourselves up for failure. When we allow these issues to become points of conflict we open up doors for the enemy to come in and work towards our downfall. We are the Church of Christ in whatever way we worship, we are all brothers and sisters in Him, lets stand in a united front and show the enemy that we stand for Christ, that we will battle him on every front, and by Jesus' grace we will win.

What dreams may come

Last night I watched a film I have been meaning to watch for a long time but have never made the time to get round to it. It is a film I was made to watch while at school in RE while we were thinking about the Christian ideas of death and the after life. For a long time the reason I did not watch the film was because I could not remember the name, only that Robin Williams was one of the leads. But thanks to IMDb I managed to track it down and found out that it was called What Dreams May Come.

Essentially the film is about families and love and uses the idea of death and heaven as a back drop for which to base the story of true love conquers all. I have to say it is a decent film that is worth watching and at times I was glad to be watching it alone due to the effect it had on me. As I said although the film is set mostly in heaven and one man's journey from life into the after life and his relationships with his family this film is not about heaven or really that religious. The main idea of the film is how the main characters relationships with his various family members was in life and how looking at them from another point of view throws them into another light.

There are some powerful ideas and some emotional scenes in the film which highlight a number of common issues in life, father son relationships, family bereavement and falling in love. These scenes are powerful because they are issues we all have in our lives and we all have to deal with. The sad part of the film is that it takes the main character to die before he realises the mistakes he has made with his relationships.

Although this film does touch on some Christian ideas about death, Heaven and hell it does not faithfully stick to only Christian ideas on this subject. There are a number of spiritualist and other influences such as the idea of reincarnation. Although it takes the idea of Heaven as a place where we go after death it misses out on so much that we believe as Christians. In their idea of Heaven there is still pain and there are still negative traits such as ego and a need for justification. In the Heaven portrayed in the film God does not feature and there is no completion of the journey to discover Him and therefore the completion of our understanding does not occur.

Although I really liked this film and thought that there were some very good points to think on it saddened me to think that films like this maybe the only knowledge some people have on Christian beliefs on death and the after life. The film shows an incomplete picture of Heaven and a pick and choose vision of Christianity. In this world of multiculturalism and the mixing together of ideas we have to be careful not to allow our knowledge of God to become clouded by false truths, we have to ensure that we are clear on what Jesus taught us and what is in God's word. It is only through this knowledge and belief that we can shine as beacons for God, in this knowledge that we can complete our mission. If all people have to tell them of the Father are films like this then they will never enter onto the journey to find complete knowledge that is only found through Him. If they do not know of the journey we must all take they will never take up their cross to follow Jesus.

Those of us who have been called so far have a huge task to complete, a task that is huge and has major consequences. How are the world to know about Him if we do not go out and tell them? It does not require anything but faith in the Father and the acceptance of Jesus, your Saviour, in to your heart. If you have these two things then you are more than capable of doing God's work, He will make you everything you need to be, He will provide you with the courage, knowledge and words, He will never let you down.

1 Peter 5:8-11

1 Peter 5:8-11
     Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ-eternal and glorious plans they are!-will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

All that I am

People may know that I am currently in a running battle with my Dad about me choosing to take a wild change in career to follow what I believe God is calling me to do. Because of this we are both looking for opportunities to push our points home and win small victories. This weekend I score a victory in the mission to win my Dad over to my point of view.

It was when the choir in our Church sang a song called All that I am;

(Chorus)
All that I am,
All I can be,
All that I have,
All that is me,
Accept and use Lord,
As You would choose Lord,
Right now today.


Take every Passion,
Take every skill,
Take all my dreams,
And bend them to your will,
My all I give Lord,
For You I live Lord,
Come what may.


(Verse)
Often I come with my problems and cares,
Running to you when distressed,
But I must give You the whole of my life,
Lord I must give You my best.


(Chorus)

(Verse)

Life has no purpose unless it is yours,

Life without you has no goal,

All that fulfils me is doing your will,

Knowing that Your in control.

(Chorus)

                             (William Himes)

I don't know how many people outside of the Salvation Army will have heard this song, but it is one of my favourites and is possibly one of the most beautiful songs I have ever had the privilege of singing or listening to. There is a beautiful but tragic story behind the song which has caused there to be a haunting melody to this song which in my opinion makes it even more powerful as for me I feel that you can sense the presence of God within it. The composer wrote this song as his wife was dying of cancer as a way to help himself cope and try to make sense of what was happening in his life and the loss he was preparing for. I think it speaks volumes for the faith of William Himes that he was able to write such a powerful song about serving God in such a dark time.

There are two lines in particular which resonate deeply within me every time I sing or hear these words and I have highlighted them above. "But I must give You the whole of my life, Lord I must give you my best". The reason these words resonate with me and why they have helped in the disagreement with my Dad about the direction my life is taking is that I have a couple of options with what to do with my life. 

On the one hand I could go out in to the world and continue in the career I have begun and become a wealthy and potentially a well known scientist. With this route comes security and a clear direction and progression into the future, I would be in control of my life and would be able to support my family so that they would have no worries in life any more. 

The other is to follow a calling which is only getting stronger the more I think about and consider it. In following the direction I believe God is calling me would require turning away from 8 years of education, a significant financial investment and any control over where my life would lead. In this option I would go where I was sent, when I was sent and would earn only a tiny fraction of what I could following the other option.

However God keeps teaching me that money is not important and that when I need it the financial aspect of things will be taken care of. He keeps showing me time and again that if only I trust in Him he will make sure that I want for and need nothing. Also if I am to give God the whole of my life and my best then surely I must give Him them now.

My Dad's argument is not that I should not follow God's calling, but that I should go and work in science for a few years, earn and save a decent chunk of money and then follow God's calling. And while on the surface of it this sounds sensible, it is not following what God is saying, it is not giving my all and my best and it surely is not relying on God to provide all things as He has promised. It may be hard, it will surely be a challenge but I know that if I trust in Him I will make it through, if I trust on His goodness and Grace there will be nothing too big to get through. Hopefully through my actions and faith my Dad can learn that he does not need to do everything on His own and that trusting in God is a more viable option than relying on oneself. 

Acts 2:45 - Too much stuff

Last night I was preparing for a cluster meeting and was looking at Acts 2:42 which is a verse I think we should all heed. As I was looking at this verse I read around it to see what else was said co that I could put it into some sort of context and gain a little more understanding. While doing this I noticed what it said about the early Church in verse 45;

Acts 2:45
     And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person's need was met.


Now we have just had Christmas, and I am sure that like me many of you will have received a lot of gifts. I don't want to sound ungrateful here but for me personally many of the things I received I didn't really need or particularly want. It is not that I don't appreciate the time effort thought and money that my family have spent on me, but I pretty much have everything I need or want already. And as a result I have far too much stuff, most of which I never use or need.

Now this has been a thought in my mind for a little while but I feel that with the direction my life is heading and the signals I feel I am receiving that something needs to be done about this in my life. I need to think about what is important in my life and trim down the excesses, streamline and become less wasteful. Get rid of all of the useless paraphernalia in my life and do something useful with the proceeds.

I know that holding things in common is not going to be easy or necessarily practical, but it is possible to collect together everything I can do without, sell it and use the proceeds for expanding God's work somehow. There is the old adage that one man's rubbish is another man's treasure, and amongst the things I own there is considerably more gold than rubbish. I guess that what I am saying is that I am planning on selling a lot of things, getting rid of the years of accumulated material wealth. And yes initially I will be hopefully turning this in to financial wealth, but with that I can follow God's plans and hopefully build up a small store of spiritual wealth that will be worth so much more.

Last day of the holidays

Well it had to come round eventually didn't it. Today is the last day of the holidays and everyone in my house goes back to normal life tomorrow. It doesn't feel that long ago since I was writing about the Christmas period looking forward to it and thinking about its meaning. Now it has come and gone did I get anything from it except a bunch of new stuff and indigestion?

What did Christmas mean for me this year? Well the memory that will stand out the most for me for a long time is possibly that of my Godson eating his first Christmas dinner, pushing food in to his mouth as soon as there is even a tiny bit space and passing his turkey to the dog. Or the other major memory of the period of going to the cemetery and visiting the graves of my family who passed this year. Both of these are mile stones in my life this year, but are not hugely important in the scheme of what Christmas means in reality.

However Christmas did afford me some amazing opportunities for fellowship and prayer. The first came on Christmas eve while out carol singing with the young people from my Church. Many of us have had a tough year and this chance to get together and have fun while standing in public declaring our love for God and our joy at His gift was something special. Not only that the reception we received from both members of our Church and members of the public was amazing, we sang to people right across the age spectrum, from a week old baby to a couple who were in their 90's. The way these people smiled, laughed and even at one point cried(the happy sort of crying) was testament to the work God is doing even in the lives of people not currently connected to a Church.

The other was on Christmas day itself. In the past services on Christmas day at our Church were cancelled by certain ministers and as such a valuable fellowship time and worship time was lost. However in recent years our current ministers have reinstated this service, and this year was the most amazing one I have ever attended. People battled the elements and drove through the most snow we have seen in years just to make it there. People made huge efforts and postponed present opening and dinner just to attend Church on our Lords birthday. The atmosphere there, for me at least was electric, there was an expectation, a longing in the congregation I have not felt in my Church for a long time. Sitting there in the Church I felt that people were there not just because it was the day to be in Church, not just because it was expected, but they were there because they wanted to be there, they wanted to worship and thank God. During the service there was a chance to give testimony and those that did showed that the real meaning of Christmas is still alive in many people. Being in that Christmas day service was a blessing the likes of which I have not felt for many months.

I don't know how your Christmas was, I don't know how you felt this Christmas or if God was actively in Christmas for you this year. However as these holidays draw to a close for many people now may be a good time to look back and see what Christmas meant to you this year. Was it everything it should have been? Was it God filled and Christ centred?

New years and the end of the holidays gives us a prime opportunity to look back and see how things were. But use this opportunity not to feel happy with your effort or even to be disappointed with your journey last year. This is a chance to look and see how you can make this coming year the best and most God filled you have had yet. That is my prayer for myself and all of you guys reading this.

Make this year God filled and Christ centred so that through us others may see You. Give me the strength to follow Your guidance and walk Your path in all that I do. Amen.

Put a memory verse on your fridge

The challenge that I have been doing this week was to find a memory verse and to write it out and put it on my fridge in order that my family and I would see it everyday. As a family that is actively Christian there is no one in the house who would object to me doing this task, and in doing so I have the opportunity to select a verse that says something fitting to the situation I am in at the moment.

As I am still trying to get my dad to accept the plans that I believe are in store for me and so I decided to select a well known verse from Jeremiah.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
      For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have not had any comments so far on it, but I am sure everyone has had a chance to see it and hope that they will take the time to read it and consider its meaning and significance.

The challenge I am going to be attempting this week is to pray every time I hear a siren. As I work right in the centre of a busy city I know that I will hear a large number of sirens this week and so I will be praying often with this challenge. Check back next week to see how it goes but until then, have a great week and God bless.

Good morning 2011

Well, its a new year. I have to say that last year could have gone a little better and I am hoping for a much better one this year. Looking out over a fresh new year I have to say that this year does have the potential to be one of the best in my life. It is going to be very busy and it is going to be a lot of hard work but I am confident that the benefits will be huge.

So what does 2011 have in store for me? Well for one thing I plan to continue this blog and have some interesting plans for things to do, watch this space for what I hope to be some very interesting posts this year. I am also planning to start studying towards my first theological qualification this year and am hoping to be accepted on to a training scheme in Canada in September, again keep a look out and I will post updates. There is a new Bible study class in my Church I will be helping to run and the quest for a new job to start in March too. So far a busy year planned and hopefully it will be a lot of fun and a very exciting journey.

In addition to this I have my ongoing Soldier's Challenge, an upcoming Lent fast and likely a few more ideas like that to boot. I will also be embarking on my first structured personal Bible study and will likely be using thoughts and ideas from that on here from time to time. There are some ideas I left hanging last year that will be picked up and some interesting thoughts that I will be following too. There is all this and much more planned too.

So that leaves me with one final thing to talk about in this post, New Years Resolutions. I wonder how many people make these and actually stick to them for the whole year. Well last night, actually just a little before mid night I was reading a blog written by a blogger called Suz at Saved to Serve. It is worth checking this blog out, it is one of the many great blogs out there that I follow. In this post however she is challenging herself to stick to these resolutions of William Booth's this year instead of making up her own. I have been inspired by this post to forget my ideas for New Years resolutions and also attempt to stick to these 6 resolutions for an entire year;

I do promise - my God helping -

1. That I will rise every morning sufficiently early to wash, dress, and have a few minutes, not less than 5, in private prayer.

2. That I will, as much as possible, avoid all that babbling and idle talk in which I have lately so sinfully indulged.

3. That I will endeavor in my conduct and deportment before the world and my fellow servants especially to conduct myself as a humble, meek and zealous follower of Christ, and by serious conversation and warning endeavor to lead them to think of their immortal souls.

4. That I will read no less than four chapters in God’s Word every day.

5. That I will strive to live closer to God, and to seek after holiness of heart and leave providential events with God.

6. That I will read over this every day or at least twice a week.

“God help me, enable me to cultivate a spirit of self-denial and to yield myself a prisoner of love to the redeemer of the world.”
“I feel my own weakness, and without God’s help I shall not keep these resolutions. The Lord have mercy upon my guilty soul.”
                                        (William Booth at age 20)

These are 6 powerful and difficult resolutions to stick too and I will surely need Gods help to achieve them. But in attempting them, even if I fail, there is sure to be much progress made and a huge amount of benefit to be made from doing it. So I will try to keep you all up to date with my progress in this new challenge for this New Year.

So Happy New Year to all of my readers, I hope that you all had a great time last night whatever you chose to do, but most of all I wish you a God filled and God blessed New Year, may all His plans prosper in you this year.

Sin