This blog is supposed to be, as much as I can, my daily journey through life as a Christian. I hope it to be my thoughts and feelings on life but be as grounded in the Christian message as it can. My intention is not to create a daily readings or bible study guide but to look at my life in terms of a Christian trying to find and follow God's mission using his Life User's Manuel AKA the Bible.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Loved and Lost
Who said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Because clearly they were never in love. Lets face it love hurts, compared to any other emotion non can cause as much or as long lasting pain as love. To lose the one person in the world who means everything to you, the one person who you would do anything for, give your life for is the worst pain in the world. When your life is shared as closely as two people in love to lose that love is like trying to live without part of your body. Not even a minor part though, it is like trying to live without a liver or a whole arm. Although I have made huge progress in my relationship with God in the last 14 months I feel as though I am missing out on two major things, 1) a true intimate relationship with God and 2) someone I can really share my life with. On a daily basis I see things which remind me of my past with my ex and there is a pain and a hole gaping wide in my life. Try as I might nothing has yet filled it. Getting to know and love God is something I am slowly doing yet I am hesitant due to my human experiences. I know God will never let me down, yet I still feel as though I am not ready to give all my life to him. I know the pain of my past is something which in time will become easier to bear, but I must learn to accept God and give him my all or I will never fill the void I have in my life. And I know this needs to be done soon because as Christians we should be ready at any moment for Him to return, I don't want to be found wanting.