This blog is supposed to be, as much as I can, my daily journey through life as a Christian. I hope it to be my thoughts and feelings on life but be as grounded in the Christian message as it can. My intention is not to create a daily readings or bible study guide but to look at my life in terms of a Christian trying to find and follow God's mission using his Life User's Manuel AKA the Bible.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Why does the Enemies side seem so good?
I have lived quite a varied life. Having been raised in a loving Christian family when I got to University I turned my back on my Church, my family and God. I went out into the world and decided I would experience it all for myself. A lot of what I did and experienced for 5 years was hurtful and soul destroying, yet at the time I believed myself to be happy. I could do what I wanted when I wanted with who I wanted and no one was going to make me feel bad about it especially not some fairy story of some guy who lives in the sky. I sampled pretty much everything I had been sheltered from by growing up in the Church and enjoyed the sense of instant gratification. Yet all the time I felt a hole. I tried to fill it by following my girlfriends religion and to all intents and purposes became a practising Buddhist. When this didn't work I tried the religion of my ancestors, Viking Paganism. Despite having no boundaries except that which I decided on I couldn't find what I was looking for. When after 4 years my relationship with my girlfriend fell apart I lost the last firm anchor in my life and realised how empty my life had become. I ended back home with my parents as I literally had nowhere else to go. After some persuasion I began attending Church again but would sit and play my DS for the whole service. Then one week I realised that I had been paying attention to the service when on the way home I began to quiz my Dad on what had been said. Slowly over the weeks I started to pay more attention and began to feel involved in a way I never had before. By September 2009 I had been attending Church again for 3 months but then had to move back for University. Being so "new" to the faith all could have gone astray again, and almost did. I was working in an pretty toxic environment and mixing with similar people to before. Yet each week I found myself attending Church, at first not for the right reasons but slowly began to feel at home, at peace and loved. Unfortunately there are many out there who live as I once did, they know nothing of God or his love for them. And to them the world does look infinitely better than God's kingdom. How to compete with a world that gives "pleasure" instantly and allows you to have as much fun as you want, when you want and with who you want is tough. God will give us chances each day to shine in other peoples lives. God will provide us with opportunities to show how our lives are full of joy despite the pains of the world. It is at these moments we can battle with the enemy because although his side does look better in the short term I can say from experience what he has to offer is nothing compared to what I have already been given by God. The greatest thing is God has yet to begin to really use my life or share his infinite bounty with me and that makes me feel better than I ever did while on the enemies side.