Moving on.......... at last

Today at work I had two very interesting conversations with two very different people, an old friend who is a colleague and my manager. They were both about very different things but both conversations made me realise just how far I have come in 18 or so months.

I will start with the second conversation, the one with my friend. This was probably the most important of the two conversations for me as it helped show me something I have been waiting to happen for some time. Today I reminisced and laughed about my past without it hurting. I was able to talk about everything from my past and remember it for what it was, laugh about the mistakes and came away feeling great. It was only after the conversation that I realised the significance of the conversation. Now looking back I can see that this day has been coming for a little while as I have been able to be more open about things that happened. I still remember the pain and the hurt I felt in June 09 and right through that summer but at last the pain is just that, a memory. People keep telling me that after such a long relationship getting used to it being over and life being different is going to take some time but for me it has been a long road that I wish had been a lot shorter. Saying that tonight I do feel so much more ready to move on than I have.

Which brings us to the significance of the other conversation I had today. It was just an informal chat about life and my future plans with my manager as we were having a cup of tea after we had finished serving at the canteen. And I don't think this conversation would have felt anywhere near as significant if the other conversation had not happened. But the reason this conversation was also quite important is it is the first time I have sat and discussed my future plans with a level of seriousness. The other success of this conversation is I now know I have someone in a position of power who is willing to give me the references I need to move on to my next task on the path I have been set.

So with only one hurdle left to get over to move these plans forward officially now. Unfortunately as usually happens it is the hurdle that I feel will be hardest to get over that is last. The main reason for this is that I have left it to last because it is so hard. I know I can get over it, but I want to take a run up to it before I commit to jumping. But as my title suggests, I am moving on, at last.