This blog is supposed to be, as much as I can, my daily journey through life as a Christian. I hope it to be my thoughts and feelings on life but be as grounded in the Christian message as it can. My intention is not to create a daily readings or bible study guide but to look at my life in terms of a Christian trying to find and follow God's mission using his Life User's Manuel AKA the Bible.

Matthew 10 19-20

And don't you worry about what you'll say or how you'll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words. - Matthew 10 19-20

Monday, November 08, 2010

My weekend

I have some good news to share today. If you have been following this blog you will know that something I have been struggling with recently is talking to my Dad. Not just in general, usually I have a very good, if somewhat strained at times, relationship with my Dad. As we both have very similar personalities we can clash spectacularly at times. But there has been one thing in particular that I have been struggling to tell him. Well this weekend I finally did it.

This weekend was a significant one for me. It represents the first major Christian event I have attended as a Christian. I wasn't sure what to expect but was very excited and looking forward to it a lot. Not only was this going to be a great opportunity to meet up with and spend time with many of my Christian friends, but it was going to be an experience like no other so far in my Christian life. Despite some points at the event I came away with a very good experience and had the chance to talk to my Dad about my life in the future.

The other major event for me this weekend occurred during the morning worship session. During this session the front of the conference hall was opened up as the mercy seat and many people flocked to use it. Normally I do not like this sort of thing as I feel that in many cases it is used for the wrong reasons or for a public display. I have had in the past many problems with the mercy seat and still feel very uncomfortable using it myself. However Sunday morning I felt as though I had to go. I tried to resist it but the feeling kept growing inside of me. It increased to the point where I felt that my heart was about to explode out through my chest. And so after much internal struggle and in full knowledge that my parents, family, church members and friends would all see me do this despite my thoughts on it I took the long walk from the back of the conference hall to the very front. All the way down I had my eyes fixed on one point, on one person, the area leader of my Church. I have spoken to him and prayed with him about my future and felt that his prayers and guidance would help me right then.

I have no idea how long I knelt, talked and prayed at the front with him but as soon as I was down there on my knees I knew that I had made the right decision. While there we talked about my plans, my aims and my ambitions. We talked about God's plans for my life and how they affect me and my plans. What I am going to do and where I am going to go. We talked about how I have found it so difficult to talk to my Dad about these matters and how that affected it all. We then prayed about all of this and that I would find a way to talk to my Dad. And after this I made a commitment, that I would give my life, such as it is, over to God, that I would let Him use it as He sees fit.

And so lunch time came around. There was a few options I had, but I grabbed my parents and asked if we could go somewhere to eat on our own thus setting the scene to talk to my Dad. So we found somewhere quiet to eat, we talked about the service and then life in general. I was finding it really difficult to broach the subject about my future, but towards the end of the meal I finally plucked up the courage. And so I told my Dad that I was thinking about changing my life plans in order to align them with God's plan for my life. The reaction I got was not great, although it was better than I was expecting. I always knew that he would not accept it at first but I am hoping and praying that he will eventually come round to the idea.

Anyway, after I told him I left him with my Mum to talk and went off on my own. I was feeling both elated and slightly depressed at the same time, paradoxical I know. But the feeling of relief and happiness that I had finally told my Dad about things, but also the sadness that he had reacted as badly as he had. Now I know that I am set on this path I can begin to follow things through officially and start following God's plans and not just talking about it.

I will post more on this subject soon, I would say more but do not want this post to become excessively long. Hope you all had a great weekend, and hope you have a fantastic week.

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